Meet the real Patch Adams

Dr Patch Adams has clowned around in 70 countries, visiting orphanages and nursing homes to bring cheer to the less fortunate.

CAN you imagine a world where no one knows what war is and have to look up a dictionary for its meaning?

Impossible though it may sound, it is the goal of one Dr Patch Adams who lost his father to the Korean War when he was 16.

So don’t be surprised if you are at one of his inspiring talks and end up hugging total strangers tightly or telling them that you love them. That’s exactly what happened at the Securities Commission in Kuala Lumpur on Friday, for no less than one-and-a-half hours!

Picture of fun: The real Dr Adams doesn’t wear a stuffy doctor’s coat but dresses in psychedelic outfits.

The exercises (as Dr Adams calls them) comprise the first part of his talk titled: ‘What’s Your Love Strategy?’ at The Gathering Of Great Minds — Series 3, a series of talks organised by Live and Inspiremagazine.

Many of us would have known of Patch Adams from the hit movie starring Robin Williams. But there is more to Dr Adams than the Hollywood movie portrayed.

For starters, the real Dr Adams doesn’t wear a stuffy doctor’s coat. Instead, the 65-year-old physician dresses in psychedelic outfits, dons sneakers and sports an unusual fork earring. In his pockets are all kinds of props and gadgets, ranging from red noses to dental braces and even fake drool.

Behind the seeming eccentrics however lies a wealth of compassion and wisdom that comes from Dr Adams’ personal experience and thirst for knowledge. The funny doctor has 35,000 books in his library!

The six-foot Dr Adams, who easily commands attention, has been a clown every day since coming out from a psychiatric hospital at the age of 18. (See separate story.)

“Ninety-nine per cent of people will hug you when you are a clown. That won’t happen if you’re in a grey suit looking like an old fart,” Dr Adams says, amid laughter from a 300-strong audience.

Dr Adams is committed to what he does – being on the go 300 days a year. His two sons – Zag and Lars – join him on his trips around the world to cheer up the sick and less fortunate.

To date, Dr Adams has clowned around in 70 countries, visiting over 2,000 orphanages and 1,000 nursing homes. He even put on his clown’s act for five Trinidadian “death row” prisoners a day before they were executed.

Filled with love: Dr Adams getting the participants to hug each other during the talk.

Dr Adams claims to have stopped many fights with his antics – be it on the streets or bars. And he has held no fewer than 2,000 starving children in his arms.

For a man whose life revolves around cheering up others, Dr Adams is disappointed at how impersonal people have become these days.

Relating his long journey from America to Malaysia that involved three flights, he laments: “No one had eye contact with anyone else. It seemed like second nature.”

It is this kind of indifference that Dr Adams is striving to change. Throughout his interactive session, the larger-than-life Dr Adams reaches out to the audience by sharing funny anecdotes, singing Country and Western songs and reciting several Pablo Neruda poems.

But it is more than just comic relief that he imparts – he drives home a message on the importance of love (and not necessarily the romantic kind).

“I have called up CNN many times as Patch Adams the famous guy to offer a love strategy: about a loving response (to war). Every single time I called up, whoever talked to me said no one would be interested,” he says.

“But I know many thousands of people and no one wants the war.”

He asks the audience if anyone thinks there are more important things in their lives than “loving”. Not a single hand shoots up.

“It’s unanimous. Loving to this audience is the most important thing in life. I’ve lectured about 30 million people and about 10 people have raised their hands. That is mathematically insignificant,” he declares.

But he quickly points out that no one has a philosophy on loving and how to carry it out.

“In my 45 years of asking people, no one has ever jumped right into discussion on how to love themselves, their God, their children, humanity, trees. Maybe CNN was right,” he says.

He points that the average American has 13 years of compulsory education of which five hours a week is devoted to science, history, mathematics and languages.

“But nothing is taught about the most important thing in life. Certainly no one would say mathematics is the most important thing in life.”

Dr Adams is amazed that most of America is depressed and miserable.

“If you have food and friends, it’s already a luxury.”

He also believes that depression is just a pharmaceutical company’s diagnosis.

“Depression is a symptom of loneliness. It is not a disease. Loneliness is the disease,” he says.

Dr Adams is dismayed that nature is being desecrated, that children are exploited as sex slaves and millions are starving to death.

He believes that humans are beautiful by nature but a lot of that beauty has been damaged because of money and power.

“There is no love strategy there, yet loving seems to be the most important thing. That’s why I do the things I do,” he shares, adding that he has been beaten up about 100 times and imprisoned a few times before (on a short-term basis).

For Dr Adams, friends remain the most important thing in his life.

“For me, a friend is my God. I love friends. When I answer my mail, I’m looking for friends.”

Dr Adams, who has yet to switch to the computer and still relies on snail mail, says he is in constant correspondence with 1,600 people and answers every single letter he receives.

He points out that humans have always been communal animals, adding that the nuclear family is an unnatural way of living.

He also assumes that strangers are friends he has not met yet, while friends are a possession.

“I’m addicted to people. If you sit next to me on an airplane, you are in trouble. If you’re in an elevator and that door shuts, I’m sorry,” he quips.

Ultimately, Dr Adams has two simple strategies for happiness – gratitude and love.

“At 18, I dove into the ocean of gratitude and I never found the shore. It has given me a very loving life.”

And the funny man has this wise maxim to share: “Be thankful for your arms and legs; for food and friends. Be thankful that you are alive.”

To find out more about Patch Adams, log on to patchadams.org

By RASHVINJEET S.BEDI
sunday@thestar.com.my

http://thestaronline.com/news/story.asp?file=/2010/11/28/nation/7516986&sec=nation

Facts about Dr Patch Adams

>Dr Adams was born Hunter Doherty Adams in 1945, the second son of a school teacher mum and a US army major dad.

> When Dr Adams’ father died in the Korean war, the family returned home to Virginia and he was thrown into the social chaos centering on racism and war that marked the beginning of the 60s.

A sensitive teenager, he became disillusioned with a world where injustice and power seemed to have more value than love and compassion. Dr Adams didn’t want to live in that world, and after three attempted suicides, he was hospitalised in a locked ward of a mental asylum.

> In the mental hospital, Dr Adams made two decisions: to serve humanity through medicine, and to never have another bad day!

> After graduating from medical school, Dr Adams began the Gesundheit Institute with a group of 20 friends, including three doctors who moved into a six-bedroom home in West Virginia and opened it as a free hospital.

The hospital was open 24 hours a day, seven days a week for all manner of medical problems, from birth to death. It treated 500 to 1,000 patients each month, with five to 50 overnight guests a night. Over its 12-year history, 15,000 patients were treated. Dances, home-made plays, humour, gardening – these were the social glue that held the medical project together.

> While the young medical team in West Virginia saw that it needed to make US healthcare a more humane and fun interaction, it also saw the huge need overseas for the same.

Dr Adams and his friends, all young idealistic doctors, headed where the need was greatest: to be involved in changing the situations of poverty, illness and suffering faced by millions across the globe. This subsequently led to the involvement of many young Americans in programmes to bring aid across the globe.

Source: patchadams.org

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/11/28/nation/7516990&sec=nation

Success: A Lengthy Journey

In today's society many baby boomers are searching for something that is illusive and difficult to obtain. They search long and hard not only to find it, but to feel the satisfaction that finding it may bring. This search takes them on a journey through life that has a profound effect on their relationships with others as well as their overall happiness and well being. What they are searching for is Success.

How Do We Create Our Definition of Success?
The baby boomer generation's definition of success began forming at an early age. As children they watched their fathers and mothers work hard to achieve success through home ownership, a good paying job and the obtainment of material possessions. Some moved to bigger houses and their parents purchased more expensive cars as spendable income increased. At Christmas time they may have found that the presents got more expensive and numerous as well. In receiving all of these things many found that their working parents spent less time with them as children. Now they know that time is what they most cherished.

Some baby boomers grew up in a family where their parents worked hard but never seemed to have anything. The house was small and the car was always old and in the mechanics shop. Material possessions were never abundant. Children raised in this type of situation may have formed their definition of success from other successful people, society and the media. Not having the trappings of success made them more determined to achieve it in their adult life. They were going to be "more successful than their parents." In the final analysis were they?

As a baby boomer I followed my parents' example after high school and attended college hoping it would lead to a good career. Like many I found that it was difficult to land that perfect job after graduation and I became frustrated that success was still out of reach. After a period of job moves searching for that "perfect position" I reached the pinnacle stage of my career. Like my friends I worked to purchase the biggest house, nicer cars, better clothes and other material possessions to validate my success. Each year the debt levels increased that required a higher salary. The additional debt caused me to feel "handcuffed" to my job. In our north Dallas neighborhood there were many of my neighbors that purchased expensive homes but did not have the money for furniture. They created an illusion of success on the outside of their stately two story homes. If success was the accumulation of material things were these people successful? Almost everything they owned of value was actually owned by the credit card companies and the mortgage holder. What price were they really paying for success?

How Do We Evaluate Success?
There comes a time in everyone's life when one starts evaluating his or her success. Part of the evaluation is spent looking at the sacrifices made along the way and what is there to show for all the effort, blood, sweat and tears. In essence what was the price for success in tangible and intangible terms? An example might be the many moves a family had to go through for the father/mother to get the promotions and higher salaries. The impact on children frequently changing schools and making new friends. Stresses caused by increased responsibility with each new position and the effect that stress had on the family's happiness. Once the evaluation is completed many individuals question the value of "success" even if material possessions and the money is abundant. Some realize that the price paid to reach success was too high. They yearn for the happiness, true fulfillment and peace of mind they never had.

Did I Ever Achieve Success?
I am one that followed the course of success established by my parents. As a baby boomer societal influences also had an impact on my definition and striving for success. I climbed the career ladder knowing that when I reached the top I would achieve success and fulfillment. I found out I was wrong. A comment that my supportive and loving wife of 23 years made to me several years ago during my hectic corporate days really made me think about what I was doing. One beautiful evening while walking the dog she said " Fred, you know we were the happiest when we first started out. You didn't make much money. We had that rental house, the old furniture and the old car." Another comment made by my oldest son when he was 16 was "dad when I grow up I don't want to be like you, you don't like your job and you never seem happy." When you receive this kind of input you know something about your path to success isn't quite right. I have also learned that many children of baby boomers are not defining success the same way my generation did.

I Finally Found SuccessI gathered up the courage and gave up the high paying corporate job in north Dallas. We moved to a small Colorado town for a year of college teaching. I remember the reactions I received from family and coworkers. My wife and children were ready for adventure but my mother thought I was going through a mid life crisis. I was jumping off the "success train" established by her generation. Colleagues at work either thought I was crazy or were actually envious of my new life change. One corporate officer said that he wished that he could do something like I did, but he was afraid his wife and children would be upset to give up the big house and all of the possessions. I'm sorry to say that I think he is still searching for success. I quickly found that giving up the corporate politics and business suits was easy. So was the two-hour daily commute to my office in north Dallas. In Colorado I walked across the street to work and wore sport shirts, khaki pants and hiking boots. Currently I am living with my family in a small college town in the North Georgia Mountains. I work at home. My wife is a schoolteacher. I have reached success at 46. I only wish I could have reached it sooner.

My New Perspective on Success
What I now realize is that success does not have to be a lengthy journey. Unfortunately most of us have to learn this by going through life striving for career achievement and paying the price. True success is based on how we view things relating to our life and career. Success does not mean obtaining material possessions or career status. I learned from friends we met in Colorado that some people with little money are successful. We had college teaching friends that did not have a great deal of money but enjoyed simple things like making biscotti, buying a good bottle of wine, listening to jazz at the coffee shop or exploring the mountains. They had more than I ever had when I was using society's definition of success. True success is genuine satisfaction, happiness and contentment with yourself and the world around you. Truly enjoying life, family, friends, work, hobbies and all that life has to offer.

I invite you to find it and enjoy it.

Paty Manterola

From my email today

In a nutshell...

A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow." The father thought some and said, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let's say that I'm a capitalist because I'm the breadwinner.

Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?" The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. The son then turned and went back to bed.

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now." "Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?"

The little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of crap."

First seen in Starmag or my email, not too sure. now in someone's blog post

http://art-harun.blogspot.com/2010/11/in-nutshell.html?spref=fb

The Little Rules of Life

Sing in the shower.
Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
Watch a sunrise at least once a year.
Leave the toilet seat in the down position.
Never refuse homemade brownies.
Strive for excellence, not perfection.
Plant a tree on your birthday.
Learn 3 clean jokes.
Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full.
Compliment 3 people every day.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
Leave everything a little better than you found it.
Keep it simple.
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Floss your teeth.
Ask for a raise when you think you've earned it.
Overtip breakfast waitresses.
Be forgiving of yourself and others.
Say, "Thank you" a lot.
Say, "Please" a lot.
Avoid negative people.
Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards.
Wear polished shoes.
Remember other people's birthdays.
Commit yourself to constant improvement.
Carry jumper cables in your truck.
Have a firm handshake.
Send lots of Valentine cards.
Sign them, "Someone who thinks you're terrific."
Look people in the eye.
Be the first to say hello.
Use the good silver.
Return all things you borrow.
Make new friends, but cherish the old ones.
Keep a few secrets.
Sing in a choir.
Plant flowers every spring.
Have a dog.
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Stop blaming others.
Take responsibility for every area of your life.
Wave at kids on school busses.
Be there when people need you.
Feed a stranger's expired parking meter.
Don't expect life to be fair.
Never underestimate the power of love.
Drink champagne for no reason at all.
Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
Don't be afraid to say, "I made a mistake."
Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know."
Compliment even small improvements.
Keep your promises no matter what.
Marry for love.
Rekindle old friendships.
Count your blessings.
Call your mother.

by H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Patience

On one occasion, the Buddha was invited by a brahmin for alms to his house. As invited, the Buddha visited the house of the brahmin. Instead of entertaining Him, the brahmin poured forth a torrent of abuse with the filthiest of words.
The Buddha inquired:-
'Do visitors come to your house, good brahmin?'
'Yes', He replied.
'What do you do when they come?'
'Oh, we prepare a sumptuous feast.'
'If they fail to turn up?'
'Why, we gladly partake of it.'
'Well, good brahmin, you have invited me for alms and entertained me with abuse which I decline to accept. Please take it back.'

:: Ash Greig's 10 Steps to Live Like You Were Dying ::

I recently lost a friend to cancer. We were not that close, but enough for me to learn a painful lesson about life, unfortunately at her expense. It was only after she passed on that it hit me: life is short, and if one doesn’t seize each moment, it’s gone forever. When I grow old, I don’t want to think back on my youth and wander if I had made the right choices or did all that I should have. I didn’t want any regrets.

I realized that the only way for one to be truly contented is to live free, and live life. Many people take it for granted that there will always be a tomorrow waiting. Things don’t work that way – if you’re meant to leave, you’re meant to leave. We don’t have the choice of saying “No, I want to stay longer.” The only thing we can do? Live each moment like it’s our last. I have been doing that ever since, and I've never looked back.

So here it is, my 10 steps to Live Like You Were Dying.

Step 1: Do something (safe!) you haven't done before. Never had sushi in your life? Grab your wallet/purse and go get some now! :)

Step 2: Tell the ones you care about how much you love them. One of you might or might not be around tomorrow - no point regretting things then. :)

Step 3: Learn to accept yourself for exactly who you are. The day you start loving yourself fully, will be the day you will learn to love others. :)

Step 4: Kick a bad habit! Addicted to 'Farmville'? Delete the app, and you'll realize that you'd have time to do more important things in life. :)

Step 5: Don't let that kid in you die. Go to the playground and jump on the swing, or nibble on gummy candy. You will realize that sometimes, grown-ups need a break too. :)

Step 6: Let go, and move on. Put your disappointments and anger in your past, and look forward to happiness and goals in your future. :)

Step 7: Don't settle. Dislike something in your life? Get rid of it! Go to bed in peace, and you'll find yourself waking up to a better day. :)

Step 8: Laugh, and laugh some more. Life sometimes can be depressing, but that doesn't mean YOU have to be depressed too. A smile on the face will make things more bearable. :)

Step 9: Don't be afraid to dream big. It's your dream, so don't let others decide how big or small it should be. :)

Step 10: Pledge to donate your organs. It is the biggest, most honourable gift a person can give to a fellow human being - the gift of life. :)

By Ash Greig

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=450128928554&ref=notif&notif_t=note_tag

How You Will Travel The River Of Life

Two young girls, Laukika and Samatha, set off on an adventure. Both of them had completed their formal education and before venturing into their respective samsaric enterprises, they thought of taking a break to contemplate life. And thus was born this hedonistic idea of journeying down the river.

Laukika was so overwhelmed with the river's speed, energy and her own enthusiasm that she said to her friend: "I'm going to jump into the river, Samatha, and be carried along with its great energies. Meet you later." So saying, she took the plunge, without waiting for her friend to respond.

Laukika enjoyed the initial adventure. At times the river frightened her, its strong current sweeping her along. But she dismissed her fears as she was taken up by the full flow of the river. The current carried her afar, and she could now no longer see the shore. Laukika was euphoric and wanted more of the adventure. Forever engrossed in steadying herself from the speed of her journey, she managed mere fleeting glimpses of the beauty around her.

Now, the waves got bigger, the waters deeper, the river widened, the gushing became so forceful that she was thrown about, knocked about on the rocks all over, water and sand filled her nostrils and mouth, she was being bruised. The girl panicked. "Help me to the shore, someone", she cried, but no one heard her. Those who did hear her couldn't do much, as they were not in a position to help her.

Meanwhile, Samatha had set out on foot. "I choose to walk down the river bank instead. I might be able to enjoy the vistas better this way", she had thought to herself before embarking on her journey.

Many years passed. The two friends met again. They hugged each other, happy to meet once again. They shared their experiences. Laukika admitted she did have her share of fun, but the journey had tired her out. Moreover, she felt vacant inside. There was so much she wanted to do, she said, but the sheer speed of her journey didn't permit her to take those liberties.

Samatha spoke: "I too thought for long after you left me, Laukika. I was tempted to follow you. The river looked enticing. But then, there was no hurry, either. I chose to walk down instead. I got to experience and enjoy the scenic offerings around the river. I marvelled at the sunrise and sunset that were so different each day.

The open blue sky was so re-assuring, as were the stars at night. I played with the countless birds and butterflies that filled the forest. I was tempted many times to plunge myself into the racing river – but would spend only a little time in the waters before drying myself on the warm rocks on the banks, read a book and resume my journey.

The local people who collected firewood and fruits from the forest would invite me to their humble homes. I would play with their children and share with them simple tips on improving their health before bidding them goodbye. It has been an amazing journey."

The friends sat in silence, mulling over the choices they'd made and the experiences they'd been through.

Decide yourself how you will travel the river of life.

From my email today

5 October 2010

Sent by JAKRI group

Call Centre true conversations

Travel CentreCustomer: I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?
Operator: Where did you get that number from, sir?
Customer: It was on the door to the Travel Centre.
Operator: Sir, they are our opening hours.

Samsung ElectronicsCaller: Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?
Operator: I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about. 

Caller: On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?
Operator: I think you mean the telephone point on the wall.

RAC Motoring ServicesCaller: Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?
Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?

AA Motoring ServicesCaller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?

Directory Enquiries

Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please. 

Operator: I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?

Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: Woven? Are you sure?
Caller: Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland.

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on. 

Will and Guy's Joke of the Day #173

from my email today

Failing doesn't mean...

Failing doesn't mean I'm a failure, it just means I haven't yet succeeded.
Failing doesn't mean I've accomplished nothing, it just means I've learned something .
Failing doesn't mean I've been fool, it just means I dare to try.
Failing doesn't mean I don't have what it takes, it just means I must do things differently next time.
Failing doesn't mean I'm inferior, it just means I'm not perfect.
Failing doesn't mean I'll never make it, it just means I need more patience.
Failing doesn't mean I'm wrong, it just means I must find a better way!!

Taken from Choon Ming's facebook notes

Regrets of the Dying

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have done unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a while new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose widely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

From my email today.
Actual source is unknown.

Life is like a piano

I can't help but to share this. Just saw it from my facebook.


Today, when I was at the hospital I received this message from a great friend... And I would like to share it with you here... "Life is like a piano, the white keys represent happiness and the blacks show sadness. Only when you play the white and black together, you can hear the music of LIFE." -Ali Ghayedi-

Police Jokes

True Funny Police Story

A bank robber in Virginia Beach Virginia, USA got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his trousers.

The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door.

A police spokesman informed us, 'He was seen hopping and jumping around with an explosion taking place inside his pants.'

Police have the man's charred trousers safely in custody.

==============================================================
Ten Bungling Burglar Stories

1. Investigating a purse snatching in Brunswick, Georgia, detectives picked up a man who fit the thief's description and drove him back to the scene. He was told to exit the car and face the victim for an ID. The suspect dutifully eyed the victim, and blurted, 'Yeah, that's the woman I robbed.'

2. In Nashville, they tell of a burglar who fell asleep on the sofa of the home he was robbing, only to be awakened by police.

3. In Thibodaux, Louisiana, a robber with a thick Cajun accent couldn't get restaurant patrons to understand his demand for money. Frustrated, he whipped out his gun, but it wouldn't fire. Grabbing the cash register, he ran......but got only three feet before falling down. The register was still plugged into the wall. Unplugging it, he tried again, but a diner knocked him to the him and called the police.

4. In Rhode Island, police were sure they had the right man when the suspect in a string of coin-machine thefts paid his $400 bail entirely in quarters.

5. Texas authorities, responding to a store robbery, seized a man who was fleeing naked. He said he'd stripped after the job because he figured his clothes would make him identifiable.

6. In Lawrence, Kansas, officers tracked a midnight thief who prided himself on his running speed by following the red lights on his high-tech tennis shoes.

7. In Virginia, a janitor went to great lengths to avoid ID. in a "Seven-Eleven" robbery, using a ski mask and rental car for the occasion. But he also wore his work uniform, which said "Cedar Woods Apartments" and had his name, Dwayne, stitched across the front.

8. Two robbers in Michigan, USA, entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

9. A robber, in a town in Germany, was caught after he escaped with his swag but he left his trousers behind. Police successfully arrested him at a railway station trying to board a train in his underpants. You couldn't invent these funny occurrences.

10.A bungling Australian car thief was nabbed after accidentally locking himself in the vehicle he was trying to steal in Adelaide, Australia.

WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!

HE   : Can I buy you a drink?

SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money..

HE   : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.

SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE   : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?

SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE   : How did you get to be so beautiful?

SHE : I must've been given your share..

HE   : Will you go out with me this Saturday?

SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE   : Your face must turn a few heads.

SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE   : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.

SHE : Okay, get out.

HE   : I think I could make you very happy.

SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE   : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?

SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE   : Can I have your name?

SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

HE   : Shall we go see a movie?

SHE : I've already seen it.

HE   : Where have you been all my life?

SHE : Hiding from you.

HE   : Haven't I seen you some place before?

SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE   : Is this seat empty?

SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE   : So, what do you do for a living?

SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

HE   : Hey baby, what's your sign?

SHE : Do not enter.

HE   : Your body is like a temple.

SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE   : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

from my email today

Law and Disorder (Part 2)

Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer's transcripts of real court cases.

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

Q: ... any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A: The victim lived.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: Yes, I have been since early childhood.

Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

Q: What is your brother-in-law's name?
A: Fowler
Q: What's his first name?
A: I can't remember.
Q: He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?
A: No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Fowler). Derek, for goodness sake, tell them your first name.

Q: Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?
A: He didn't offer me anything; he just said I could have the furniture.

Q: What is your name?
A: Geraldine McNally
Q: And what is your marital status?
A: Fair

Q: Are you married?
A: No, I'm divorced.
Q: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A: A lot of things I didn't know about.

Q: Mrs. Warren, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your solicitor?
A: No. This is how I always dress when I go to work.

Q: Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A: No.
Q: What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A: Picking them up in the air.
Q: Where was the dog at this time?
A: Attached to the ears.

Q: ...and what did he do then?
A: He came home and next morning he was dead.
Q: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?

Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
A: I could see his head.
Q: And where was his head?
A: Just above his shoulders.

Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You, too, were shot in the fracas?
A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A: I will be three months November 8th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you and your husband doing at that time?

Q: Did the lady standing the driveway subsequently identify herself to you?
A: Yes, she did.
Q: Who did she say she was?
A: She said she was the owner of the dog's wife.

Q: I understand you're Donald Rowbotham's mother.
A: Yes.
Q: How long have you known him?

Q: Please state the location of your right foot immediately prior to impact.
A: Immediately before the impact, my right foot was located at the immediate end of my right leg.

Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?

Q: Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: How long have you been a French Canadian?

Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q: So you were gone until you returned?

Will & Guy's Joke of the Day #157

Serious Monkey Business

A Woman Trains Unlikely Soldiers in a War of Independence

In 1977, Mary Joan Willard was making her daily rounds at the Tufts New England Medical Center in Boston. Her work, as part of her fellowship, was to study patients with severe physical injury in rehabilitation. It was there she met a twenty-three-year-old man named Joe.

A car accident had left Joe paralyzed from the neck down. Once active and robust, he now sat helplessly all day in a wheel-chair He couldn't slip a tape into a VCR, fix himself a sandwich, or even lift a finger to scratch a maddening itch. Like more than 100,000 other quadriplegics in the United States, Joe was completely dependent, even for his simplest and most personal needs.

It was this realization that deeply distressed Mary Joan. A woman with enormous self-initiative, she could only imagine how it felt to be trapped by total, permanent dependence. As a psychologist, she knew the emotional cost. Quadriplegics often give up on life, their spirits as paralyzed as their bodies. Mary Joan was convinced that if Joe could achieve some independence, his spirits might again soar.

Lying in bed one evening, a thought came to her-chimpanzees. Why couldn't chimps be trained to do many of the daily tasks to help someone in Joe's position?

The next day Mary Joan visited B. F. Skinner, the Harvard psychologist whose pioneering work with animals and behavior modification had made him world-famous. Mary Joan had worked as Skinner's assistant for three years and she hoped he wouldn't think her idea was crazy.

He didn't. In fact, he thought the idea had merit, but he did offer some caution. Chimps, he reminded her, become much stronger than and grow almost as big as humans. Chimps also have cranky temperaments. He suggested using capuchins instead, the little "organ grinder" monkeys that are intelligent, easy to train, and loyal to their masters. Bingo! Mary Joan was sold.

Nest, Mary Joan set out to sell others. After extensive research, she presented her idea to the director of her psychology program at Tufts University. The director almost fell out of his chair laughing. He could just see the headline: "Tufts Medical School Trains Monkeys to Take Care of Patients." Mary Joan wasn't amused and continued with her persuasive argument. Eventually she convinced him the idea was sound and he helped her get a $2,000 grant. This grant was the beginning of an organization called Helping Hands. It was not an auspicious start, but the money was enough to buy four monkeys and some cages and to hire student trainers for a dollar an hour.

Mary Joan's research indicated it would take about eight weeks to train the monkeys. Eight weeks passed and she was still trying to get them out of their cages. The first capuchins, acquired as adults, were former laboratory monkeys and were raised in isolation. Consequently, they were terrified of humans. It took two years of trial and error before Mary Joan had the first monkey ready to being work.

Despite the frustrating delays, Mary Joan and her new partner, Judi Zazula, worked tirelessly to raise needed funding. Thirty-eight grant proposals resulted in thirty-eight rejections. They were back at square one with Mary Joan working part-time as a psychologist to pay the bills.

Numerous agencies involved with severely disabled persons were interested in her idea, but all were skeptical. Some protested that it was demeaning to quadriplegics to use monkeys as helpers.

"Are Seeing Eye dogs demeaning to the blind?" she responded. Others suggested a mechanical robot would better suit the purpose.

"Can robots sit on your lap and put their arms around you?" she asked.

Other challenges facing Mary Joan and Judi involved training the monkeys to stay out of certain rooms and not get their mischievous little hands into everything. Mary Joan recalled sitting with Judi holding the latest proposal rejection on her lap and watching Hellion, their capuchin-in-training, destroy the place. She said, "Look at this place! To think they almost funded us!" and they both started laughing hysterically.

Mary Joan's patience, determination, and unwavering sense of purpose finally won out. After two years, Hellion, the first trained monkey, was ready to meet a twenty-five-year-old quadriplegic named Robert, who was alone nine hours a day. Hellion could scratch Roberts's itchy nose with a face cloth and put a tape in the VCR. She cold gently brush his hair, turn the lights on and off, put pre-packaged food in the microwave, and even bring Robert a cold drink from the refrigerator. Most important of all, Hellion could pick up Robert's mouth stick, the primary tool a quadriplegic uses for endless tasks, including dialing a telephone, starting a microwave, and turning the pages of a book. Furthermore, Hellion was a devoted companion who entertained Robert and offered unconditional affection.

So successful was the Hellion-Robert team that Mary Joan received her first major grant in 1979 from the Paralyzed Veterans of America. The grant allowed her and Judi to take small salaries, purchase needed equipment, and acquire a few young monkeys for training.

It wasn't long before requests for monkeys came from quadriplegics all across the country. Now the challenge was to find a safe, reliable source of trainable monkeys. Mary Joan and Judi could not continue to use laboratory animals or capuchins caught in the wild; they needed a breeding colony.

Help came from a company that is the symbol of dreams come true-Disney. Disney World in Florida responded to Mary Joan's request and established a capuchin breeding colony on its Discovery Island, supplying Mary Joan's organization with almost all the little "helping hands" it needed. After five years, Disney World needed the space for expansion and provided the funding to move the breeding colony to a Boson zoo.

When they are six to eight weeks old, the monkeys are taken from the colony and placed in volunteer "foster homes." For the next three to five years, they learn basic skills and become comfortable living closely with humans. By the time the monkeys come to Helping Hands, they are housebroken and "cage trained" and have learned upon command to go to their "rooms" and close the door behind them. In the final twelve months of training, the capuchins learn specific skills used in working with quadriplegics, such as combing hair and handling a mouth stick.

This process may seem slow to some, but not to a visionary like Mary Joan Willard. She quickly reminds skeptics that the idea of guide dogs for the blind was debated for a hundred years before the Seeing Eye Program actually began.

By 1997, about 160 capuchins were living in the homes of volunteer families. Thirty-five quadriplegics have received their monkey helpers. Joe, who was Mary Joan's initial inspiration, regained a fair level of motion in his right arm and did not need the help of a monkey. Hundreds of other quadriplegics are not so fortunate and are still patiently waiting for the day when one of Helping Hand's remarkable little monkeys will return to them what they thought they'd lost forever – a little independence, a special form of companionship, and a little joy.

"We both felt that if we did not see this through to the end, no one else would be crazy enough to do it. To give up would have been a disservice to quadriplegics and to ourselves."
-Mary Jan Willard-

Excerpted/Adapted from Unstoppable
Cynthia Kersey

This came through to my email on 2nd September 2010

The Excellence

A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, 

"We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage." The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?" 

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked... The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it." 

The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. 

"Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside. Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and efficiency... 


from my email
27 August 2010

Ash Greig's 10 Steps to Keeping Hope Alive

Hope is about the most difficult thing to find and keep alive. Every day when we wake up and face the world, we face challenges. Sometimes, we handle it just fine. Sometimes, it pulls us down so much we feel that we just don't have the strength to get on our feet again and move on. No matter how tough life gets, we always know that everything will turn out just fine. There is never an ending to anything – only a continuation and new beginnings.

I've had my share low moments in life – losing loved ones, less-than-impressive test results, painful goodbyes to friends, bad days at work and even embarrassing slip-and-falls in public. No matter how horrible I felt, I always knew that there was a rainbow at the end of the day, that one day I will be able to look back and be glad that I went through it all because it made me the strong person  I am today.

Here it is, my very own 10 steps to Keeping Hope Alive.

Step 1: Be positive. The thing about hope is that it only lives within a positive mind, a positive environment. The day you stop being positive will be the day hope dies. :)

Step 2: Learn to trust. People might have hurt you deeply in the past, but that doesn't mean you stop believing in goodness. There are angels around us to help us through all our ups and downs – you just need to know who they are and thank your lucky stars for having them in your life. :)

Step 3: Help the ones who need you most. Not everyone is lucky to have a bowl of rice on their table each day or know what love is. Donate to an orphanage or spend a day making new friends at the old folks' home. You give them one day of happiness; you get a lifetime's worth of joy. :)

Step 4: Dream big. Most of us are afraid to think of something that we may never have, but it is the one thing that keeps our hope alive in the bleakest moments in life. :)

Step 5: Take one small step at a time. Don't rush into anything, and don't expect miracles to happen overnight. If you're trying to have a baby, don't try for two weeks and give up when the pregnancy test kit points to negative each day. Things will happen when it's meant to happen. :)

Step 6: Stay strong no matter what life throws at you. You lost a loved one, it will hurt. You will cry, you will be upset, but you will come out of it. Remember the good times, reminisce the memories shared, and you will find yourself smiling again. :)

Step 7: Ask yourself what matters most to you. It's not always about money or popularity; it's the values that you hold true to yourself, values that are important to you and make you happy. :)

Step 8: Remember that every wrong will turn out right. We all make mistakes, but it's not the end of the world. Deep inside we know things will one day be okay. :)

Step 9: Give hugs to the ones you care about. We all need to be reminded that we are not alone in this world and nothing says more than a warm hug from someone we love. :)

Step 10: Know that there are always new beginnings. Every one of us goes through some sort of pain at some point in our lives. It's how we learn to accept it and move on that makes life worth living. Don't ever forget that there is always a tomorrow waiting for us. :)

~Ashley Greig~

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=425704223554&comments&ref=notif&notif_t=note_reply#!/note.php?note_id=425704223554

Wisdom of Happiness

One on the most convincing pieces on happiness. Khushwant Singh (who is now over 90yrs old, and known well in India) at his best. The rationale applied to each preference is absolutely top class.

EIGHT CLUES TO HAPPINESS

By- KHUSHWANT SINGH

Having lived a reasonably contented life, I was musing over what a person should strive for to achieve happiness. I drew up a list of a few essentials which I put forward for the readers' appraisal.

1. First and foremost is GOOD HEALTH. If you do not enjoy good health you can never be happy. Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct from your happiness.

2. Second, A HEALTHY BANK BALANCE. It need not run into crores but should be enough to provide for creature comforts and something to spare for recreation, like eating out, going to the pictures, travelling or going on holidays on the hills or by the sea. Shortage of money can be only demoralizing. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and lowers one in one's own eyes.

3. Third, A HOME OF YOUR OWN. Rented premises can never give you the snug feeling of a nest which is yours for keeps that a home provides: if it has a garden space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them grow and blossom, cultivate a sense of kinship with them.

4. Fourth, AN UNDERSTANDING COMPANION, be it your spouse or a friend. If there are too many misunderstandings, they will rob you of your peace of mind. It is better to be divorced than to bicker all the time.

5. Fifth, LACK OF ENVY towards those who have done better than you in life; risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame. Envy can be very corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others.

6. Sixth, DO NOT ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE to descend on you for gup-shup. By the time you get rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their gossip-mongering.

7. Seventh, CULTIVATE SOME HOBBIES which can bring you a sense of fulfillment, such as gardening, reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to clubs or parties to get free drinks or to meet celebrities is criminal waste of time.

8. Eighth, every morning and evening, devote 15 minutes to INTROSPECTION. In the morning, 10 minutes should be spent on stilling the mind and then five in listing things you have to do that day. In the evening, five minutes to still the mind again, and ten to go over what you had undertaken to do.

RICHNESS is not Earning More, Spending More Or Saving More, but ...

"RICHNESS IS WHEN YOU NEED NO MORE"

Understanding Men

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

Ash Greig's 10 Steps to Building Self-Confidence

Step 1: The golden rule – have a positive outlook on life!
Nobody wants to be around a negative pessimist, so have more faith in yourself and the world that you live in. :)

Step 2: Perfection is NOT the key.
The more you aim for it, the harder it is to reach; so when you fail there goes your confidence down the toilet bowl. Set goals that you can achieve and reward yourself when you succeed. If things do not turn out well, let it be and move on. Punishing yourself doesn’t make it all better. :)

Step 3: Do not be afraid to be heard.
You’ve got a mind of your own – be proud of it! Show people that you are a thinker and not a follower. :)

Step 4: Create something out of nothing.
Never baked a cake in your life? Take out Mom’s recipe book and start getting messy. When you open the oven and see your masterpiece once it’s ready, you’d be so proud of yourself for attempting the impossible. :)

Step 5: Be happy being you instead of trying so hard to be someone you’re not.
You’re special exactly the way you are, so why would you want to be different and pretend to be a person you think people would approve of? Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. :)

Step 6: Be initiative – take the first step.
So you’ve just met some new people. Talk to them, find out their hobbies and tell them about yours. Being shy doesn’t get you anywhere when you want to become a more confident adult. :)

Step 7: Thank your lucky stars for life’s little gifts.
You’ve been blessed with all that you need to live a fulfilling life – smile, be grateful and spread the love to those around you. :)

Step 8: Love every bit of yourself.
It doesn’t matter if your right boob is smaller than your left, or if you weigh 30 pounds more than you should. Accept your flaws and appreciate your best features. Life would be that much simpler to lead. :)

Step 9: Listen to uplifting, happy music.
It makes you feel good about yourself and everything around you, and does wonders to boost your confidence. :)

Step 10: Make your own decisions.
We all have to make choices of various scales throughout our lives – it is part of being human. We may make mistakes sometimes, but at least you know that you made that mistake on your own with a clear conscience and not merely looking for someone to take the blame. :)


~Ashley Greig~
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=413454363554&ref=notif

The Lesson

I grew up in a community within which one was judged not by one's integrity or actions but by one's financial status. In my neighbourhood, every mother rushed to enrol her child in the most exclusive tuition centres regardless of the cost. In my neighbourhood, the poor were not befriended but shunned and treated as outcasts.

Naturally, I grew up believing that the sole aim in life was to obtain good grades that would, eventually, ensure a high-paying job. Fortunately, I discovered at an early age that my brain could live up to my ambitions, and by the time I was 13, I had been dubbed an Einstein and was already contemplating my chances of entering Harvard one day.

Things were not as easy for Omar, my identical twin brother. Omar and I shared the same gangly figure and tousled hair, but 13-year-old Omar had the mental age of a child 10 years younger. His condition was disheartening, and sometimes, tactless strangers would jeer at the way he behaved and spoke. Though I hated the way others treated Omar, secretly, I too thought little of him and didn't think he had anything to offer the world.

Then, one day, Omar disappeared from our home; it wasn't like him to wander off alone, and I was worried - but also irritated that I would have to take time off from the books to look for him. Adding to the irritation as I walked down the street was the rain that began pouring down.

Just as I was about to give up in disgust and go home, I heard the familiar, high-pitched laughter. Omar's laughter. As I turned around the last house on the street, I saw something that stopped me in my tracks. Omar, the brother I thought had nothing to offer the world, was helping old Mrs Ravi cross the street. Mrs Ravi was a blind woman who had been shunned by our neighbourhood after her late husband had been revealed as a criminal.

Omar was holding her hand and leading her across gently, amusing her with his childish jokes along the way. He obviously did not care that her skin was eczema-ravaged, her eyes hollow and blank, her hair untamed, her coat ragged. And she obviously did not care that Omar wasn't the sharpest brain around, it was enough that he was a friend to her.

Standing in the rain watching this scene, I wondered vaguely why the rain water tasted salty as it trickled over my lips. Then I realised that it was mixture of tears and rainwater that trailed down my cheeks. Here was a boy, pitied and looked down upon by others, teaching me one of life's important lessons: do not judge a book by its cover...

By Auro
Published in Starmag

What If He Could Change the World?

It was the school holidays, and my five-year-old cousin was spending time at my house. I wasn't terrible enthusiastic about him coming over as I was trying to write my entry fro an essay competition, I was having difficulty with the topic, which was If I could change the world. Thoughts in issues like racism, poverty, and was were swirling in my mind and I was wondering what I could do to make a difference. Heavy stuff....

So I was not pleased when my cousin came to bug me. But I had promised Mum I'd take care of him - she wanted me to "learn responsibility and discipline" before she'd consider letting me get my own car. So there I was, sitting beside my cute little cousin in the backyard. The hot weather was making me drowsy even as it sparked hazy thought on global warming. Then I was rudely shocked out of my dreams by cries of "Koko, koko" (big brother) from my cousin. "Koko, why the grass stand there, don't move one? Just now they wave to me, now they don't like me. Why?" asked my cousin, sounding upset. Before I could explain that it was the wind that had made them "wave" before, and that it was rare for a breeze to come by at this time of the day, he broke into another loud cry.

Tugging my sleeve, he quickly pulled me off the grass and onto the walkway, shouting in excitement, "I know, I know! They sad we step on them! See, see! Now they wave again!" The rare breeze had appeared and the plants and grass in my backyard started "waving" gently. A huge smile broke out on my cousin's sweaty face, and I couldn't resist smiling at the sight.

Soon, though, he was tired of playing outdoors and wanted to rest. So I suggested doing some drawing and painting in the house. But before he left the yard, he bowed and thanked all plants that were "bowing" to him too. I couldn't help but smile again.

After giving him paper and crayons, I went back to my computer and stared at the blank screen. Facts and figures and opinions about all those heavy issues swirled in my mind but I was no closer to beginning my essay. Shaking my head in disgust, I looked for distraction and turned to my cousin, finding him totally engrossed in him painting. Curious, I looked over his shoulder.

It was a fairly typical drawing for a little kid; there were trees, birds, mountains, the sun, a big house with a chimney (why do Malaysian kids persist in drawing chimneys even though we don't have them here? The influence of Westernised TV, obviously!) and three buildings with people in front of them.

The buildings, said my cousin earnestly, were "houses" he had seen while being driven over. Interestingly, these "houses" were shaped roughly like a mosque and Hindu and Chinese temples. Then I noticed that all the people in the picture had orange coloured skin. Being the older, wiser one, of course, I started to correct him, telling him that the person in front of the mosque should have brown skin, the one near the Indian temple should have darker skin than that and the person by the Chinese temple should have lighter coloured skin.

But my little cousin was having none of it.

"No, no, Koko. Teacher say all people only one colour. I see them all also one colour. They same like us. They like to smile and be happy. Why, Koko, you say they different? You wrong, Koko," my little cousin said firmly to me.

I didn't agree and tried to persuade him to change the colours but he was adamant. I tried explaining again about race and religion, but he kept on repeating "same one, same one" to me. Giving up in disgust, I returned to my seat in front of the computer and began mulling over how to write about racism.

It was in the evening before my cousin brother finished him artwork. It was really impressive by his standards, and I awarded him a kiss on his cheek for putting so much effort into it. I saw that the men in his drawing were now all holding hands, which was not what he had drawn at first, so I asked him about the change.

"Koko made me change. I told you they same, you don't know. So I draw them hold hands! Now they like brothers, they love each other," my cousin said sternly, looking for understanding in my face. I finally gave up and told him I believed what he said. For that, I was rewarded with a kiss on my cheek too.

It was night-time and I was still in front of my computer, trying to find inspiration. Then came my cousin brother again. He wanted to go to bed. He was very tired after a whole day of playing.

After I made a small bed for him alongside mine, he settled in but before sleeping, he said this prayer: "Dear Papa God, thank you for giving me nice day! Thank you for giving me Koko. I like him very much. I want to sleep now. I pray that other children in the world can sleep like me and be happy every day, so now I put one dollar here. I hope you give this to them. Amen."

I kissed him good night and he went to sleep.

As I sat down once more in front of that demanding computer screen to ponder those big issues again, the peaceful face of my little cousin brother sparked these thoughts:

If I could change the world, maybe I should make everyone show as much respect for each other and for all living things as my cousin brother did to the grass and plants?

If I could change the world, maybe I should teach people to treat one another without discrimination and not see different skin colours, just as my cousin brother portrayed the people in his painting?

If I could change the world, maybe I should teach people to be more generous in giving others a portion of what we have, just as my cousin brother gives up his one dollar every day?

A I looked at my cousin brother snoring in his sleep, I thought in awe, what a world it would be if he could change it.

Written by Cheah Kok Hin
Posted in Starmag