My mother used to ask me what the most important part of the body was. Through the years I would take a shot at what I thought was the correct answer.
When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to humans, so I said: "My ears, Mummy." She said, "No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon."
Several years passed before she asked me the same question again. Since that first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. This time I told her, "Mummy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes."
She looked at me and said, "You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind."
Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, "No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child."
Then last year, my grandfather died. Everybody cried. Even my father. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I had seen him cry. Mum looked at me when it was our turn to say our final goodbye to Grandpa.
"Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?" she asked. I was taken aback. I'd always thought that this was a game between us.
She saw the confusion on my face and said: "This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived. For every body part you gave me in the past, I had explained why your answer was wrong. But today, you need to learn one important lesson."
She looked at me as only a mother could. I saw her eyes well up with tears as she continued: "My dear, the most important part of your body is your shoulder."
"Is it because it holds up the head?" I asked.
"No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life. I hope you have enough love and friends so that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it."
Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one. It is sympathetic to the pain of others. People will forget what you said and did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Sent to Starmag by Dennis Chee
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
"Information, Please"
When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighbourhood. I remember well the polished old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box.
I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it. Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person - her name was "Information, Please" and there was nothing she did not know.
"Information, Please" could supply anybody's number and the correct time. My first personal experience with this genie-in-the-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbour. While amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer. The pain was terrible, but there didn't seem to be any reason in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.
I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, and finally arrived at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlour and dragged it to the landing. I climbed up, unhooked the receiver in the parlour and held it to my ear.
"Information, Please," I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.
After a click or two, a small clear voice spoke into my ear, "Information".
"I hurt my finger," I wailed into the phone. The tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.
"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.
"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.
"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.
"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."
"Can you open your icebox?" she asked.
I said I could.
"Then chip off a little piece of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice.
After that, I called "Information, Please" for everything. I asked her for help with my Geography and she told me where Philadelphia was.
She helped me with my Math. She told me my pet chipmunk, that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.
Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called "Information, Please" and told her the sad story. She listened, then said the usual things grown-ups say to soothe a child, but I was inconsolable.
I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"
She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Paul, always remember that there are other worlds to sing in." Somehow I felt better.
Another day I was on the telephone. "Information, Please."
"Information," said the now familiar voice.
"How do you spell fix?" I asked.
All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. "Information, Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home, and I somehow never thought of trying the tall, shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall.
As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me. Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity, I would recall the serene sense of security that I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.
A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about half an hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes on the phone with my sister, who lived there now.
Then, without thinking what I was doing, I dialled my hometown operator and said, "Information, Please." Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well, "Information". I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"
There was a long pause. Then came the soft-spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now."
I laughed. "So it's really still you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?"
"I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your calls meant to me? I never had any children, and I used to look forward to your calls."
I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and asked if I could call her again when I come back to visit my sister. "Please do," she said. "Just ask for Sally."
Three months later, I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered, "Information". I asked for Sally. "Are you a friend?" she asked.
"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago."
Before I could hand up, she added, "Wait a minute. Did you say your name was Paul?"
"Yes," I replied.
"Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you."
The note said, "Tell him I still say there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean."
I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.
From Starmag
I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it. Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person - her name was "Information, Please" and there was nothing she did not know.
"Information, Please" could supply anybody's number and the correct time. My first personal experience with this genie-in-the-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbour. While amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer. The pain was terrible, but there didn't seem to be any reason in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.
I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, and finally arrived at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlour and dragged it to the landing. I climbed up, unhooked the receiver in the parlour and held it to my ear.
"Information, Please," I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.
After a click or two, a small clear voice spoke into my ear, "Information".
"I hurt my finger," I wailed into the phone. The tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.
"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.
"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.
"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.
"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."
"Can you open your icebox?" she asked.
I said I could.
"Then chip off a little piece of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice.
After that, I called "Information, Please" for everything. I asked her for help with my Geography and she told me where Philadelphia was.
She helped me with my Math. She told me my pet chipmunk, that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.
Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called "Information, Please" and told her the sad story. She listened, then said the usual things grown-ups say to soothe a child, but I was inconsolable.
I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"
She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Paul, always remember that there are other worlds to sing in." Somehow I felt better.
Another day I was on the telephone. "Information, Please."
"Information," said the now familiar voice.
"How do you spell fix?" I asked.
All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. "Information, Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home, and I somehow never thought of trying the tall, shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall.
As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me. Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity, I would recall the serene sense of security that I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.
A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about half an hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes on the phone with my sister, who lived there now.
Then, without thinking what I was doing, I dialled my hometown operator and said, "Information, Please." Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well, "Information". I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"
There was a long pause. Then came the soft-spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now."
I laughed. "So it's really still you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?"
"I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your calls meant to me? I never had any children, and I used to look forward to your calls."
I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and asked if I could call her again when I come back to visit my sister. "Please do," she said. "Just ask for Sally."
Three months later, I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered, "Information". I asked for Sally. "Are you a friend?" she asked.
"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago."
Before I could hand up, she added, "Wait a minute. Did you say your name was Paul?"
"Yes," I replied.
"Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you."
The note said, "Tell him I still say there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean."
I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.
From Starmag
Sunday, May 29, 2011
The Bully
By Roger Kiser
I walked into the Huddle House restaurant in Brunswick, Georgia, and sat down at the counter as all of the booths were taken. I picked up a menu and began to look at the various items, trying to decide if I wanted to order breakfast or just go ahead and eat lunch.
"Excuse me," said someone, as she touched me on the shoulder.
I looked up and turned to the side to see a rather nice-looking woman standing before me.
"Is your name Roger by any chance?" she asked.
"Yes," I responded, looking rather confused as I had never seen her before.
"My name is Barbara and my husband is Tony," she said, pointing to a distant table near the door leading into the bathrooms.
I looked where she was pointing but did not recognise the man sitting alone at the table.
"I'm sorry ... I don't think I know you guys. But my name is Roger. Roger Kiser," I told her.
"Tony Claxton. Tony from Landon High School in Jacksonville, Florida?" she asked me.
"I'm really sorry. The name doens't ring a bell."
She turned, walked back to her table and sat down. She and her husband immediately began talking and once in a while, I would see her turn around in her seat and look directly at me.
I finally decided to order breakfast and a cup of decaffeinated coffee. I sat there racking my brain, trying to remember who this Tony was.
"I must know him," I thought to myself. "He recognises me for some reason." I picked my coffee up adn took a sip. All of a sudden it came to me like a flash of lightning.
"Tony. TONY THE BULL," I mumbled, as I swung around on my stool and faced his direction. "The bully of my seventh grade Geography class."
How many times had that sorry guy made fun of my big ears in front of the girls in class? How many times had this sorry son-of-a-gun laughed at me because I had no parents and had to live in an orphanage? How many times had this big bully slammed me up against the lockers in the hallway just to make himself look like a big man to all the other students?
He raised his hand and waved. I smiled, returned the wave, turned back and began to eat my breakfast.
"Jesus. He's so thin now. Not the big burly guy I remember from back in 1957," I thought to myself.
All of a sudden I heard the sound of dishes breaking so I spun around to see what had happened. Tony had knocked several plates off the table as he tried to get into his wheelchair, which had been parked in the bathroom hallway while they were eating. The waitress ran over and started picking up the broken dishes as I listened as Tony and his wife tried to apologise.
As Tony rolled by me, pushed by his wife, I looked up and I smiled.
"Roger," he said, as he nodded.
"Tony," I responded, nodding my head in return.
I watched as they went out of the door and slowly made their way to a large van which had a wheelchair loader located on its side door.
I sat and watched as his wife tried, again and again, to get the ramp to come down. But it just would not work. Finally I got up, paid for my meal, and walked up to the van.
"What's the problem?"
"Darn thing sticks once in a while," said Tony.
"Could you help me get him in the van?" asked his wife.
"I think I can do that," I said, as I grabbed the wheelchair and rolled Tony over to the passenger door.
I opened the door and locked the brakes on the wheelchair.
"Okay. Arms around the neck, Dude," I said as I reached down, grabbed him around the waist and carefully raised him up onto the passenger seat.
As Tony let go of my neck, I reached over and swung his limp, lifeless legs, one at a time, into the van so that they could be stationed directly in front of him.
"You remember, don't you?" he said, looking into my eyes.
"I remember, Tony."
"I guess you're thinking, 'What goes around comes around'," he said softly.
"I would never think like that, Tony," I said, with a stern look on my face.
He reached over, grabbed both my hands and squeeze them tightly.
"Is how I feel in the wheelchair how you felt way back then when you lived in the orphan home?"
"Almost, Tony. You are very lucky. You have someone to push you around who loves you. I didn't have anyone."
I reached in my picket, pulled out one of my cards and handed it to him. "Give me a call. We'll do lunch."
We both laughed. I stood there watching as they drove toward the interstate and finally disappeared onto the southbound ramp. I hope he calls me sometime. He will be the only friend I have from my high school days.
Story sent in to Starmag by Vincent.
I walked into the Huddle House restaurant in Brunswick, Georgia, and sat down at the counter as all of the booths were taken. I picked up a menu and began to look at the various items, trying to decide if I wanted to order breakfast or just go ahead and eat lunch.
"Excuse me," said someone, as she touched me on the shoulder.
I looked up and turned to the side to see a rather nice-looking woman standing before me.
"Is your name Roger by any chance?" she asked.
"Yes," I responded, looking rather confused as I had never seen her before.
"My name is Barbara and my husband is Tony," she said, pointing to a distant table near the door leading into the bathrooms.
I looked where she was pointing but did not recognise the man sitting alone at the table.
"I'm sorry ... I don't think I know you guys. But my name is Roger. Roger Kiser," I told her.
"Tony Claxton. Tony from Landon High School in Jacksonville, Florida?" she asked me.
"I'm really sorry. The name doens't ring a bell."
She turned, walked back to her table and sat down. She and her husband immediately began talking and once in a while, I would see her turn around in her seat and look directly at me.
I finally decided to order breakfast and a cup of decaffeinated coffee. I sat there racking my brain, trying to remember who this Tony was.
"I must know him," I thought to myself. "He recognises me for some reason." I picked my coffee up adn took a sip. All of a sudden it came to me like a flash of lightning.
"Tony. TONY THE BULL," I mumbled, as I swung around on my stool and faced his direction. "The bully of my seventh grade Geography class."
How many times had that sorry guy made fun of my big ears in front of the girls in class? How many times had this sorry son-of-a-gun laughed at me because I had no parents and had to live in an orphanage? How many times had this big bully slammed me up against the lockers in the hallway just to make himself look like a big man to all the other students?
He raised his hand and waved. I smiled, returned the wave, turned back and began to eat my breakfast.
"Jesus. He's so thin now. Not the big burly guy I remember from back in 1957," I thought to myself.
All of a sudden I heard the sound of dishes breaking so I spun around to see what had happened. Tony had knocked several plates off the table as he tried to get into his wheelchair, which had been parked in the bathroom hallway while they were eating. The waitress ran over and started picking up the broken dishes as I listened as Tony and his wife tried to apologise.
As Tony rolled by me, pushed by his wife, I looked up and I smiled.
"Roger," he said, as he nodded.
"Tony," I responded, nodding my head in return.
I watched as they went out of the door and slowly made their way to a large van which had a wheelchair loader located on its side door.
I sat and watched as his wife tried, again and again, to get the ramp to come down. But it just would not work. Finally I got up, paid for my meal, and walked up to the van.
"What's the problem?"
"Darn thing sticks once in a while," said Tony.
"Could you help me get him in the van?" asked his wife.
"I think I can do that," I said, as I grabbed the wheelchair and rolled Tony over to the passenger door.
I opened the door and locked the brakes on the wheelchair.
"Okay. Arms around the neck, Dude," I said as I reached down, grabbed him around the waist and carefully raised him up onto the passenger seat.
As Tony let go of my neck, I reached over and swung his limp, lifeless legs, one at a time, into the van so that they could be stationed directly in front of him.
"You remember, don't you?" he said, looking into my eyes.
"I remember, Tony."
"I guess you're thinking, 'What goes around comes around'," he said softly.
"I would never think like that, Tony," I said, with a stern look on my face.
He reached over, grabbed both my hands and squeeze them tightly.
"Is how I feel in the wheelchair how you felt way back then when you lived in the orphan home?"
"Almost, Tony. You are very lucky. You have someone to push you around who loves you. I didn't have anyone."
I reached in my picket, pulled out one of my cards and handed it to him. "Give me a call. We'll do lunch."
We both laughed. I stood there watching as they drove toward the interstate and finally disappeared onto the southbound ramp. I hope he calls me sometime. He will be the only friend I have from my high school days.
Story sent in to Starmag by Vincent.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Qualities of a Friend
Man is gregarious by nature. He is constantly seeking the company of others. No man is an island. We all need friends for companionship and for meaningful relationships. A person who has a wide circle of friends is indeed fortunate. He will never be lonely or bored.
What are the qualities that a good friend should possess? Trustworthiness and dependability will be at the top of my list. A friend should stick by me through thick and thin. A friend should be there to share my joys and sorrow, my good times and bad. I detest fair weather friends who desert me at the first sign of trouble. A good friend should be willing to listen to my problems and offer me good advice. He should encourage me when I feel down.
True friendship must be anchored in honesty. Friends should never hide the truth from each other. If I ever knew that a friend has lied to me, I would not trust him the next time. I also detest friends who exaggerate. His intentions may just be to entertain me or to impress me, yet I will not feel comfortable with such people.
A good friend must be circumspect in both his words and deeds. He should not be spiteful in his words and actions. A friend must choose his words carefully. A friend who praises me for my achievements, criticizes me when I am wrong and encourages me when I falter is an ideal friend.
Friends should never be afraid to admit their mistakes and apologise for them. After all, to err is human, to forgive divine. Every one of us makes mistakes all the time but a person who is not afraid of admitting his mistakes shows that he is honest and humble.
It is easy to make friends but good friends are not easy to come by. A friend who enjoys your company while you are there but forgets you the minute you are out of sight is not a real friend. The saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’ has no bearing in friendship. I value friendship that has stood the test of time.
These are some of the sterling qualities a good friend should have. If I can find all these qualities in a single friend, then without a doubt, he will be my best friend.
What are the qualities that a good friend should possess? Trustworthiness and dependability will be at the top of my list. A friend should stick by me through thick and thin. A friend should be there to share my joys and sorrow, my good times and bad. I detest fair weather friends who desert me at the first sign of trouble. A good friend should be willing to listen to my problems and offer me good advice. He should encourage me when I feel down.
True friendship must be anchored in honesty. Friends should never hide the truth from each other. If I ever knew that a friend has lied to me, I would not trust him the next time. I also detest friends who exaggerate. His intentions may just be to entertain me or to impress me, yet I will not feel comfortable with such people.
A good friend must be circumspect in both his words and deeds. He should not be spiteful in his words and actions. A friend must choose his words carefully. A friend who praises me for my achievements, criticizes me when I am wrong and encourages me when I falter is an ideal friend.
Friends should never be afraid to admit their mistakes and apologise for them. After all, to err is human, to forgive divine. Every one of us makes mistakes all the time but a person who is not afraid of admitting his mistakes shows that he is honest and humble.
It is easy to make friends but good friends are not easy to come by. A friend who enjoys your company while you are there but forgets you the minute you are out of sight is not a real friend. The saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’ has no bearing in friendship. I value friendship that has stood the test of time.
These are some of the sterling qualities a good friend should have. If I can find all these qualities in a single friend, then without a doubt, he will be my best friend.
From an essay book during my secondary school years
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
A Reflection of Life
I had started to write this article many weeks ago, but I put it aside after only writing two paragraphs. But today, a very close friend asked me the question "What does life mean to you now?" got me thinking again. What do I really see in life? Actually, life has already given me practically everything that I could ever ask from it.
Fate has been very kind to me for giving me a very good family to begin with. I have a wonderful set of parents who really love me and would always ensure that I get the very best in life. Greatest love in the world, wonderful upbringing (very good moral values to begin life with), a harmonious home, good education, very beautiful house to live in, and even some siblings to play with and fight with. There's a lot more that I can be thankful about with my parents, but too much to write here.
Moving on to my siblings. My sister, there's really nothing more that I could want from an elder sister. She loves me more than any person could love her sister. I can always count on her for help in practically everything under the sky, from fashion to all the way to studies. As for my brother, well, he's the usual kind of little brother that we all seem to already know, as naughty as a monkey. But, he's my little brother all the same. There are many times when he actually showed that he cared. It's just that a guy being a guy, he won't show much.
Next is my late grandfather. A great man he was. He was actually the very strong Elephant glue that keeps our extended family together because he was the eldest brother in his family. So during the festive seasons, the rest of the big family would come to our house, mainly just to visit him, and our home became the centre meeting point for everyone. He loves all of us dearly. When my siblings and I were young, he would always cook for us because my parents would be out working. So grandfather took care of all three of us practically all the time. He would make sure that we have everything that we want. He would make sure we have our pocket money when we go to school. Everything, he would take care of to ensure that we'll be alright. So when he passed away, I wrote him a poem. I've posted the poem in this blog also, search for the title "Memory".
The rest of my extended family is just too much to talk about. Some that deserve at least a mention here would be my youngest granduncle and his whole family, and the late fifth granduncle and his whole family too. The rest, I'm not as close to them as I would like. Except perhaps one of the son's family of the fourth granduncle and one daughter's family of the second granduncle. I think I better stop here as it is getting real messy.
Now, coming to the biggest group of people in my life. My friends. I think here I better only give mention to the very very closest of close friends. I'll start with my hometown friends. The most important that I still keep contact with would be my primary school friends. Ng, Stef, and Sofia. We have been friends since primary school. Everything that I forget about my childhood, they'll help to remind me, especially of the fond memories we had together in school, both primary and secondary. In secondary school, I guess I didn't mix as much with people of my secondary school as much. Yi Won, Ju Anne, Terri, Liak Shern, Ben...these are among some that comes into mind when I think of my secondary school, and these are people whom I still have contact with. For those that I may miss out, they wouldn't know anyway for this blog is not really followed by my hometown friends.
Moving on to my matriculation friends. Those that I grew very close to in matrics is Chen Giap, Mei Kian and Candy. I think I can stop my list here for the others I did not even contact already nowadays. Chen Giap is my practicum leader and I'm his helper. We're still in contact now, mainly because we got in to the same university. Oh ya, forgot to mention, Wei De and Wai Fun are also friends from matrics. These two was once my emotional support, because Wai Fun understand me more than I sometimes understand myself while Wei De understands how the universe works.
Then in my university years, three years into a four-year course now, I would call this the most challenging times of my life so far. I wonder how much worse it would be when I go to work after I graduate in a year's time. I acquired a few more precious friends such as Mian Yi, Ashley, the choir gang, and most recently, Casper (from a Buddhist camp).
I'm not sure why, but Mian Yi and I didn't really get to know each other in matrics, but only found our friendship during university years. I guess it started from the orientation choir practices. We both worked out a song for the choir team to sing for orientation choir competition together. And from then onwards we were rather close friends.
As for Ash, I think I should have known her during CC interaction week, but I can't remember anything from there. My memory of her only starts in choir practices. (Sorry, girl, for that lack of memory capacity of my brain). We shared many happy memories in and out of choir together. Roommates for almost one year. And we sometimes still sing together when we have the time to do so.
Lately, Casper, who has now become my adopted twin brother for the many similar traits we found in each other. He's also one of my current emotional support together with Ash.
I guess from here, anyone would have been able to see how blessed my life truly is. So where does all these brings me to? Back to the question posted by Ash. What does life mean to me now? Well, my dear friend and adopted sister, the answer is, I already feel very blessed and there is nothing more I could ever ask from life. There may be some unhappy times and upsetting times in my life, when things don't seem to go my way. But we will never know what life has to offer next. Perhaps the things may not go our now, but it could be that life is arranging something good for us after that. So for me, I would just have to learn to bear with the problems life gives us and at the same time remember to appreciate what life has already given me. Things may change, people may change. But then again, better things and people may come. Life goes on no matter what. Just bear with it, come what may and enjoy while we still can.
Quote from an article I've once read:
Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is mystery,
Today is a gift,
That is why it is called the present!
I have reached the twenty-second year of my life. And yet, I have not really stopped and think back of what I have been through my life before until recently. My twenty-two years old journey through life has been a very colourful one. There were many downs, but there were definitely way more ups compared to the downs.
Moving on to my siblings. My sister, there's really nothing more that I could want from an elder sister. She loves me more than any person could love her sister. I can always count on her for help in practically everything under the sky, from fashion to all the way to studies. As for my brother, well, he's the usual kind of little brother that we all seem to already know, as naughty as a monkey. But, he's my little brother all the same. There are many times when he actually showed that he cared. It's just that a guy being a guy, he won't show much.
Next is my late grandfather. A great man he was. He was actually the very strong Elephant glue that keeps our extended family together because he was the eldest brother in his family. So during the festive seasons, the rest of the big family would come to our house, mainly just to visit him, and our home became the centre meeting point for everyone. He loves all of us dearly. When my siblings and I were young, he would always cook for us because my parents would be out working. So grandfather took care of all three of us practically all the time. He would make sure that we have everything that we want. He would make sure we have our pocket money when we go to school. Everything, he would take care of to ensure that we'll be alright. So when he passed away, I wrote him a poem. I've posted the poem in this blog also, search for the title "Memory".
The rest of my extended family is just too much to talk about. Some that deserve at least a mention here would be my youngest granduncle and his whole family, and the late fifth granduncle and his whole family too. The rest, I'm not as close to them as I would like. Except perhaps one of the son's family of the fourth granduncle and one daughter's family of the second granduncle. I think I better stop here as it is getting real messy.
Now, coming to the biggest group of people in my life. My friends. I think here I better only give mention to the very very closest of close friends. I'll start with my hometown friends. The most important that I still keep contact with would be my primary school friends. Ng, Stef, and Sofia. We have been friends since primary school. Everything that I forget about my childhood, they'll help to remind me, especially of the fond memories we had together in school, both primary and secondary. In secondary school, I guess I didn't mix as much with people of my secondary school as much. Yi Won, Ju Anne, Terri, Liak Shern, Ben...these are among some that comes into mind when I think of my secondary school, and these are people whom I still have contact with. For those that I may miss out, they wouldn't know anyway for this blog is not really followed by my hometown friends.
Moving on to my matriculation friends. Those that I grew very close to in matrics is Chen Giap, Mei Kian and Candy. I think I can stop my list here for the others I did not even contact already nowadays. Chen Giap is my practicum leader and I'm his helper. We're still in contact now, mainly because we got in to the same university. Oh ya, forgot to mention, Wei De and Wai Fun are also friends from matrics. These two was once my emotional support, because Wai Fun understand me more than I sometimes understand myself while Wei De understands how the universe works.
Then in my university years, three years into a four-year course now, I would call this the most challenging times of my life so far. I wonder how much worse it would be when I go to work after I graduate in a year's time. I acquired a few more precious friends such as Mian Yi, Ashley, the choir gang, and most recently, Casper (from a Buddhist camp).
I'm not sure why, but Mian Yi and I didn't really get to know each other in matrics, but only found our friendship during university years. I guess it started from the orientation choir practices. We both worked out a song for the choir team to sing for orientation choir competition together. And from then onwards we were rather close friends.
As for Ash, I think I should have known her during CC interaction week, but I can't remember anything from there. My memory of her only starts in choir practices. (Sorry, girl, for that lack of memory capacity of my brain). We shared many happy memories in and out of choir together. Roommates for almost one year. And we sometimes still sing together when we have the time to do so.
Lately, Casper, who has now become my adopted twin brother for the many similar traits we found in each other. He's also one of my current emotional support together with Ash.
I guess from here, anyone would have been able to see how blessed my life truly is. So where does all these brings me to? Back to the question posted by Ash. What does life mean to me now? Well, my dear friend and adopted sister, the answer is, I already feel very blessed and there is nothing more I could ever ask from life. There may be some unhappy times and upsetting times in my life, when things don't seem to go my way. But we will never know what life has to offer next. Perhaps the things may not go our now, but it could be that life is arranging something good for us after that. So for me, I would just have to learn to bear with the problems life gives us and at the same time remember to appreciate what life has already given me. Things may change, people may change. But then again, better things and people may come. Life goes on no matter what. Just bear with it, come what may and enjoy while we still can.
Quote from an article I've once read:
Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is mystery,
Today is a gift,
That is why it is called the present!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
:: Ash Greig's 10 Steps to Understanding the True Value of Friendship ::
What is friendship? Is it a relationship that you have with a person that you've known since you were 5? Or someone you met only a few months ago? Must it only be with the same sex, or is it possible for a boy and a girl to be friends? This is something only you would know. It all depends on what friendship means to you.
Telling him that his car is awesome or that her shoes are the nicest you've seen all the time doesn't count in building friendship. It isn't about constant partying and getting drunk with them either. It's about how you aren't afraid to criticize their choice of diet, or holding their hands when they've no one to turn to. Friendship is all about being there for one another come what may, for life. For one to build that, one must first understand the value of it.
So here it is, my 10 Steps to Understanding the True Value of Friendship.
Step 1: Have faith in them. If you want him/her to trust you, you've got to trust him/her too. Open up, and tell him/her what you really feel deep inside - share your life with them. Maybe, just maybe, he/she might be able to get you through it. :)
Step 2: Do not rush into it. Friendship needs time to grow, so let it run its course and blossom at its own pace. Spending hours together 7 days a week isn't going to make you BFFs instantly. :)
Step 3: Show them that you care. So her car broke down in the middle of nowhere and she's panicking. This is the time she needs you the most. If you really care about her, you wouldn't want her to go through it alone and you'd drop everything to go to her rescue. :)
Step 4: Never forget to say "Thank you". It doesn't mean that because you're friends, there isn't a need to appreciate the person. I don't believe in the phrase "No thank yous among friends", because it leads to taking the friendship for granted. :)
Step 5: Allow them to be honest with you. If they're really your friends, they would dare tell you that the miniskirt you're wearing doesn't complement you, or that hairgel makes your head look like a durian gone wrong - because they know that you'll not hate them for telling you the truth. :)
Step 6: Listen, and listen more. Talking about yourself all the time isn't cool at all. Ask about his day at work, or about that new movie she watched yesterday. If you want yourself to be heard, you must also hear. :)
Step 7: Do not be afraid to lend a shoulder to cry on. He may be a 35 year-old man with a career and family, but he feels pain just like any other human being when he finds out his father had passed away. Be there for him, with him. :)
Step 8: Stop being judgemental. So he has screwed around with a few women, or she's got a horrible sense of fashion. Don't make assumptions about them - there might be a reason why they are like that. If you call yourself a true friend, you'd help him/her with the problem, and not snigger or laugh behind his/her back. :)
Step 9: Invest in the friendship. Make time to see each other and have fun in each other's company - teh tarik at a mamak shop, jogging in the park, shopping at the mall, anything! Show them that they're worth the extra effort. :)
Step 10: Don't just rely on facebook for quality time. Writing on each other's walls and commenting on pictures and status updates isn't enough to make up for face-to-face interaction or heart-to-heart talks. A hug can do far more wonders than a few lines on a computer screen. :)
~Ash Greig~
http://www.facebook.com/notes/ashley-%E7%88%B1%E6%80%9D%E4%B8%BD-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D9%84%DB%8C-greig/-ash-greigs-10-steps-to-understanding-the-true-value-of-friendship-/10150110374823555?ref=notif¬if_t=note_tag
Telling him that his car is awesome or that her shoes are the nicest you've seen all the time doesn't count in building friendship. It isn't about constant partying and getting drunk with them either. It's about how you aren't afraid to criticize their choice of diet, or holding their hands when they've no one to turn to. Friendship is all about being there for one another come what may, for life. For one to build that, one must first understand the value of it.
So here it is, my 10 Steps to Understanding the True Value of Friendship.
Step 1: Have faith in them. If you want him/her to trust you, you've got to trust him/her too. Open up, and tell him/her what you really feel deep inside - share your life with them. Maybe, just maybe, he/she might be able to get you through it. :)
Step 2: Do not rush into it. Friendship needs time to grow, so let it run its course and blossom at its own pace. Spending hours together 7 days a week isn't going to make you BFFs instantly. :)
Step 3: Show them that you care. So her car broke down in the middle of nowhere and she's panicking. This is the time she needs you the most. If you really care about her, you wouldn't want her to go through it alone and you'd drop everything to go to her rescue. :)
Step 4: Never forget to say "Thank you". It doesn't mean that because you're friends, there isn't a need to appreciate the person. I don't believe in the phrase "No thank yous among friends", because it leads to taking the friendship for granted. :)
Step 5: Allow them to be honest with you. If they're really your friends, they would dare tell you that the miniskirt you're wearing doesn't complement you, or that hairgel makes your head look like a durian gone wrong - because they know that you'll not hate them for telling you the truth. :)
Step 6: Listen, and listen more. Talking about yourself all the time isn't cool at all. Ask about his day at work, or about that new movie she watched yesterday. If you want yourself to be heard, you must also hear. :)
Step 7: Do not be afraid to lend a shoulder to cry on. He may be a 35 year-old man with a career and family, but he feels pain just like any other human being when he finds out his father had passed away. Be there for him, with him. :)
Step 8: Stop being judgemental. So he has screwed around with a few women, or she's got a horrible sense of fashion. Don't make assumptions about them - there might be a reason why they are like that. If you call yourself a true friend, you'd help him/her with the problem, and not snigger or laugh behind his/her back. :)
Step 9: Invest in the friendship. Make time to see each other and have fun in each other's company - teh tarik at a mamak shop, jogging in the park, shopping at the mall, anything! Show them that they're worth the extra effort. :)
Step 10: Don't just rely on facebook for quality time. Writing on each other's walls and commenting on pictures and status updates isn't enough to make up for face-to-face interaction or heart-to-heart talks. A hug can do far more wonders than a few lines on a computer screen. :)
~Ash Greig~
http://www.facebook.com/notes/ashley-%E7%88%B1%E6%80%9D%E4%B8%BD-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D9%84%DB%8C-greig/-ash-greigs-10-steps-to-understanding-the-true-value-of-friendship-/10150110374823555?ref=notif¬if_t=note_tag
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Regrets of the Dying
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have done unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a while new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose widely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
From my email today.
Actual source is unknown.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have done unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a while new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose widely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
From my email today.
Actual source is unknown.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Colours of Friendship
Once upon a time, the colours of the world started to quarrel. All of them claimed that they were the best. The most important. The most useful. The favourite.
Green said: "Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all the animals would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority."
Blue interrupted: "You only think about the earth. Consider the sky and the the sea. It is water, drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea, that is the basis of life. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing."
Yellow chuckled. "You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me, there would be no fun."
Orange was the next to blow her trumpet. "I am the colour of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and papayas.
"I don't hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any or you."
Red could no longer stand it so he shouted out: "I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I am the colour of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire into the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the colour of passion and love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy."
Purple rose up to his full height; he was very tall and spoke with great pomp. "I a,m the colour of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."
Finally, Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination. "Think of me. I am the colour of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me, all of you become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."
And so the colours continued to boast, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarrelling became louder and louder. Suddenly, there was a startling flash of lightning. Thunder rolled and boomed and rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colours crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort.
In the midst of the clamour, rain began to speak: "You foolish colours, fighting amongst yourselves and trying to dominate the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me."
With heads bowed, the colours reached out to each other. Rain continued: "From now on, whenever it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of colour as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow."
And so, after a good shower has washed the world and a rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another.
Sent to Starmag by Siti Faizura Saffardin
Green said: "Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all the animals would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority."
Blue interrupted: "You only think about the earth. Consider the sky and the the sea. It is water, drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea, that is the basis of life. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing."
Yellow chuckled. "You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me, there would be no fun."
Orange was the next to blow her trumpet. "I am the colour of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and papayas.
"I don't hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any or you."
Red could no longer stand it so he shouted out: "I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I am the colour of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire into the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the colour of passion and love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy."
Purple rose up to his full height; he was very tall and spoke with great pomp. "I a,m the colour of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."
Finally, Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination. "Think of me. I am the colour of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me, all of you become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."
And so the colours continued to boast, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarrelling became louder and louder. Suddenly, there was a startling flash of lightning. Thunder rolled and boomed and rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colours crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort.
In the midst of the clamour, rain began to speak: "You foolish colours, fighting amongst yourselves and trying to dominate the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me."
With heads bowed, the colours reached out to each other. Rain continued: "From now on, whenever it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of colour as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow."
And so, after a good shower has washed the world and a rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another.
Sent to Starmag by Siti Faizura Saffardin
Thursday, June 24, 2010
A Friend for All Seasons
In kindergarten, your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have her red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.
In the first year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.
In the second year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.
In the third year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who shared her lunch with you because you'd left yours on the bus.
In the fourth year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch partners in the science lab so you wouldn't have to be stuck with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.
In the fifth year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who saved a seat at the back of the bus for you.
In the sixth year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who went up to your new crush and asked him to dance with you, so that if he said no, you wouldn't be embarrassed.
In the seventh year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who let you copy the Moral Studies homework the night before that you had to hand it in.
In the eighth year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old toys, but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke into tears.
In the ninth year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who would accompany you to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't be the only junior there.
In the 10th year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who changed her schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.
In the 11th year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in her new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with your beau, and found you a date to the prom.
In the 12th year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college/university, assured you that you would get a place there; and helped you deal with your parents, who were having a hard time letting you go.
At graduation, your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as she congratulated you.
At the end-of-year party after the 12th year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the house; assured you that now that you and your beau were back together, you could make it through anything; helped you pack up for university and silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at the 18 years of memories you were leaving behind; then sent you off to college knowing you were loved.
Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of two choices; hold your hand when you're scared; helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you; thinks of you at times when you're not there; reminds you of what you have forgotten; helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer; stays with you so that you will have confidence; goes out of her way to make time for you; helps you clear up your mistakes; smiles for you even when she is sad; helps you become a better person; and, most importantly, loves you!
Sent to Starmag by Charmed
In the first year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.
In the second year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.
In the third year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who shared her lunch with you because you'd left yours on the bus.
In the fourth year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch partners in the science lab so you wouldn't have to be stuck with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.
In the fifth year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who saved a seat at the back of the bus for you.
In the sixth year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who went up to your new crush and asked him to dance with you, so that if he said no, you wouldn't be embarrassed.
In the seventh year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who let you copy the Moral Studies homework the night before that you had to hand it in.
In the eighth year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old toys, but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke into tears.
In the ninth year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who would accompany you to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't be the only junior there.
In the 10th year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who changed her schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.
In the 11th year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in her new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with your beau, and found you a date to the prom.
In the 12th year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college/university, assured you that you would get a place there; and helped you deal with your parents, who were having a hard time letting you go.
At graduation, your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as she congratulated you.
At the end-of-year party after the 12th year of school, your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the house; assured you that now that you and your beau were back together, you could make it through anything; helped you pack up for university and silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at the 18 years of memories you were leaving behind; then sent you off to college knowing you were loved.
Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of two choices; hold your hand when you're scared; helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you; thinks of you at times when you're not there; reminds you of what you have forgotten; helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer; stays with you so that you will have confidence; goes out of her way to make time for you; helps you clear up your mistakes; smiles for you even when she is sad; helps you become a better person; and, most importantly, loves you!
Sent to Starmag by Charmed
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