:: Ash Greig's 10 Steps to Understanding the True Value of Friendship ::

What is friendship? Is it a relationship that you have with a person that you've known since you were 5? Or someone you met only a few months ago? Must it only be with the same sex, or is it possible for a boy and a girl to be friends? This is something only you would know. It all depends on what friendship means to you.


Telling him that his car is awesome or that her shoes are the nicest you've seen all the time doesn't count in building friendship. It isn't about constant partying and getting drunk with them either. It's about how you aren't afraid to criticize their choice of diet, or holding their hands when they've no one to turn to. Friendship is all about being there for one another come what may, for life. For one to build that, one must first understand the value of it.

So here it is, my 10 Steps to Understanding the True Value of Friendship.



Step 1: Have faith in them. If you want him/her to trust you, you've got to trust him/her too. Open up, and tell him/her what you really feel deep inside - share your life with them. Maybe, just maybe, he/she might be able to get you through it. :)


Step 2: Do not rush into it. Friendship needs time to grow, so let it run its course and blossom at its own pace. Spending hours together 7 days a week isn't going to make you BFFs instantly. :)


Step 3: Show them that you care. So her car broke down in the middle of nowhere and she's panicking. This is the time she needs you the most. If you really care about her, you wouldn't want her to go through it alone and you'd drop everything to go to her rescue. :)


Step 4: Never forget to say "Thank you". It doesn't mean that because you're friends, there isn't a need to appreciate the person. I don't believe in the phrase "No thank yous among friends", because it leads to taking the friendship for granted. :)


Step 5: Allow them to be honest with you. If they're really your friends, they would dare tell you that the miniskirt you're wearing doesn't complement you, or that hairgel makes your head look like a durian gone wrong - because they know that you'll not hate them for telling you the truth. :)


Step 6: Listen, and listen more. Talking about yourself all the time isn't cool at all. Ask about his day at work, or about that new movie she watched yesterday. If you want yourself to be heard, you must also hear. :)


Step 7: Do not be afraid to lend a shoulder to cry on. He may be a 35 year-old man with a career and family, but he feels pain just like any other human being when he finds out his father had passed away. Be there for him, with him. :)



Step 8: Stop being judgemental. So he has screwed around with a few women, or she's got a horrible sense of fashion. Don't make assumptions about them - there might be a reason why they are like that. If you call yourself a true friend, you'd help him/her with the problem, and not snigger or laugh behind his/her back. :)


Step 9: Invest in the friendship. Make time to see each other and have fun in each other's company - teh tarik at a mamak shop, jogging in the park, shopping at the mall, anything! Show them that they're worth the extra effort. :)


Step 10: Don't just rely on facebook for quality time. Writing on each other's walls and commenting on pictures and status updates isn't enough to make up for face-to-face interaction or heart-to-heart talks. A hug can do far more wonders than a few lines on a computer screen. :)

~Ash Greig~
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