Diamonds in the Rough

By Juliana Phang


The nondescript group filed in slowly. "Ah ... looks like the doldrums for the next two days," I hummed silently to myself as I observed my newest batch of trainees streaming into the room. The nine executives were from various corporations in the region.

I never cease to marvel at the pipe dreams of corporate bosses: within 48 hours, the office sluggards they send will be changed, chameleon-like, into corporate champions. Yep, and with an additional bonus of guts and gall to bring about mind-boggling changes to their respective companies.

As they settled down, in shuffled a slight, hunch figure who reminded me of the Hunchback of the Notre Dame. She walked in hesitantly and gave me a shy smile. From afar, she looked like a victim of osteoporosis, a bone affliction of older citizens. To my surprise, as she drew nearer, I realise Ms Hoe was very much younger than I had surmised.

As we introduced ourselves, one of the participants turned around fully to face me. I realised with a jolt that she had a reddish, unsightly birthmark that covered more than half her face.

I wondered why she didn't attempt to hide it with make-up. Why hasn't she gone for plastic surgery to get rid of that hideous thing? But if she was ashamed of the sprawling mark, Lisa didn't show it.

As with any meeting of Eves, during tea-break, the topic turned to marriage. More out of curiosity than courtesy, I asked the ladies if they had any intention of getting married. My little mind had already formed the foregone conclusion that notably two of them were not likely to attract suitors. And even as the question left the tip of my impetuous tongue, I was afraid they would find it offensive.

However, Ms Hoe turned to me and quietly remarked that she would, but for her spine problem of 20 years. Her spine had started to curve when she was in her twenties. She had consulted various doctors, bone specialists, therapists and even chiropractors, and done extensive research on the Internet. But sadly, there is no known cure.

Silence. Knives, forks and spoons were poised in mid-air. You could hear a pin drop in the dining room.

I cleared my throat and helpfully blustered, "I feel sad for you."

Ms Hoe turned and looked at me steadily, with her calm dark brown eyes showing something akin to compassion. "There is nothing to be sad about. I will have to live with it the best way I can." And I thought she was the one in need of pity.

She shared how she had to give up badminton when the pains started to wrack her twisted body. The doctors could only prescribe painkillers to ease her suffering. But over-dependence on drugs was not something she wanted for the rest of her life. Instead of drowning in despair, she gamely took up qigong, an ancient Chinese form of exercise for self-healing.

Whenever she went out, people would stop and stare and make unkind remarks. Was she bitter about it all?

"Why should I be bothered? I have not committed any crime or sinned such that God should punish me with this. If He sees fit that I should go through life as a hunchback, then I will ask for strength, not deliverance."

I bumped into Ms Hoe again as I entered the ladies' toilet later. She was applying lipstick, preparing for a session of individual presentations. The moment she saw me, she surreptitiously put the lipstick behind her back. I pretended I hadn't noticed. However in my mind's eye, I suddenly realised that she, like all women, desired to look beautiful.

I discovered this unassuming lady was also a manager and a shareholder of the company she was working inl Yet she did not pull her weight around despite the fact that she had subordinate in the same course. Instead, she constantly praised his abilities. She focused on others' strengths, not her own weakness.

Lisa revealed that she was engaged and would soon be marrying a wonderful man.

Engagement? Marriage? Husband? Was I hearing right? So many of my friends who were better endowed in the looks department were still desperately searching for Mr Right. How in the world did she do it?

Eventually, I realised her secret. Instead of being self-conscious and bitter over what fate had dealt her, Lisa was the life of our group. She made us laugh with her witty comments and contributed to all the discussions.

I once sagely mentioned how we so easily fall when faced with calamity. Lisa tut-tutted: "Oh, what a negative was to face life!" And that coming from a person who, I thought, needed all the positive thinking we could possibly muster!

Lisa didn't need any cover-up for her disfigurement. I'd swear that as I spent more time with her, the birthmark seemed to fade. She radiated enthusiasm and a zest for life. In fact, she was actually very pretty. She had a smooth and even complexion that millions of women would die for. And she had a nice figure to boot. She was involved in various sports despite her heavy work schedule. She talked excitedly about her latest passion, bowling, and proceeded to educate me, a novice, on the finer points of the game!

Sometimes my trainees call me sifu. In Cantonese, it means teacher of the highest order. But as we gave farewell speeches and exchanged thank you notes, I felt less of a sifu and more like a fool that day. Who, indeed, was the real teacher here?

I was there to teach them how to perform better in their work, but the tables were turned. My trainees taught me more than all the management books in the world could. I taught them how to be better employees but they taught me something more important in life - how to be a better person.

Thank you, Ms Hoe and Lisa. I will always remember you when I walk through the valley of shadow and self-defeat. May your courage and fortitude be my guiding light whenever I am tempted to curse fate and dwell in self-pity.

And may your concept of real beauty that shines from within as opposed to the world's standards of perfection be with me through the ravages of time. God bless you both; you are like diamonds that shine in the dark.

From Starmag