:: Ash Greig's 10 Steps to Understanding the True Value of Friendship ::

What is friendship? Is it a relationship that you have with a person that you've known since you were 5? Or someone you met only a few months ago? Must it only be with the same sex, or is it possible for a boy and a girl to be friends? This is something only you would know. It all depends on what friendship means to you.


Telling him that his car is awesome or that her shoes are the nicest you've seen all the time doesn't count in building friendship. It isn't about constant partying and getting drunk with them either. It's about how you aren't afraid to criticize their choice of diet, or holding their hands when they've no one to turn to. Friendship is all about being there for one another come what may, for life. For one to build that, one must first understand the value of it.

So here it is, my 10 Steps to Understanding the True Value of Friendship.



Step 1: Have faith in them. If you want him/her to trust you, you've got to trust him/her too. Open up, and tell him/her what you really feel deep inside - share your life with them. Maybe, just maybe, he/she might be able to get you through it. :)


Step 2: Do not rush into it. Friendship needs time to grow, so let it run its course and blossom at its own pace. Spending hours together 7 days a week isn't going to make you BFFs instantly. :)


Step 3: Show them that you care. So her car broke down in the middle of nowhere and she's panicking. This is the time she needs you the most. If you really care about her, you wouldn't want her to go through it alone and you'd drop everything to go to her rescue. :)


Step 4: Never forget to say "Thank you". It doesn't mean that because you're friends, there isn't a need to appreciate the person. I don't believe in the phrase "No thank yous among friends", because it leads to taking the friendship for granted. :)


Step 5: Allow them to be honest with you. If they're really your friends, they would dare tell you that the miniskirt you're wearing doesn't complement you, or that hairgel makes your head look like a durian gone wrong - because they know that you'll not hate them for telling you the truth. :)


Step 6: Listen, and listen more. Talking about yourself all the time isn't cool at all. Ask about his day at work, or about that new movie she watched yesterday. If you want yourself to be heard, you must also hear. :)


Step 7: Do not be afraid to lend a shoulder to cry on. He may be a 35 year-old man with a career and family, but he feels pain just like any other human being when he finds out his father had passed away. Be there for him, with him. :)



Step 8: Stop being judgemental. So he has screwed around with a few women, or she's got a horrible sense of fashion. Don't make assumptions about them - there might be a reason why they are like that. If you call yourself a true friend, you'd help him/her with the problem, and not snigger or laugh behind his/her back. :)


Step 9: Invest in the friendship. Make time to see each other and have fun in each other's company - teh tarik at a mamak shop, jogging in the park, shopping at the mall, anything! Show them that they're worth the extra effort. :)


Step 10: Don't just rely on facebook for quality time. Writing on each other's walls and commenting on pictures and status updates isn't enough to make up for face-to-face interaction or heart-to-heart talks. A hug can do far more wonders than a few lines on a computer screen. :)

~Ash Greig~
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::Ash Greig's 10 Steps to True Success::

Imagine this: You’re sitting on a comfy chair in your home, sipping on a cup of hot mocha with your dog by your side. You’ve got a fat bank account, and go for holidays abroad at least twice a year. Your career is going strong, and it’s only a matter of days before your boss hands you over that promotion you’ve been working so hard for.

To the rest of the world, you’re as far as one goes when it comes to success. But do money and a career truly define real success? As important as they are, there are other aspects to living a meaningful life – all which we so easily forget in the madness of this constantly revolving world.

So here it is, my take on what it truly means to be a successful person:-

Step 1: Treat the ones who brought you up with love. Your parents sacrificed so much for you for years. Isn’t it about time you took over the reins? Try to make their remaining years the best in their life. :)

Step 2: Keep a savings account, and DON’T touch it. Even a small amount each month adds up to a huge sum by the end of the year. Make it a habit to always have a little something tucked away for emergencies – you never know when you’d need an umbrella when the rain comes pouring. :)

Step 3: Be thankful for everything in your life. Whether or not you believe in God, you’ve been blessed to have all that you have. Ever thought about those who die of starvation in Ethiopia each day? Or those who are forced to work 18 hours a day for a measly $1 daily? Learn to be grateful, and it will teach you to be humble. :)

Step 4: Find a job that you’re happy with, not something that simply pays well but drains the life out of you. A career only begins and develops with the right attitude and drive. What’s the point of earning so much but you struggle to drag yourself to work every morning? :)

Step 5: Help out at a local charity organization. Old folks home, the orphanage, SPCA – anything. If you’re not into giving monetary funds, donate your time instead. Listen to the 89 year-old uncle who rambles on about his days in the army. Volunteer as a cleaner at the dog pound. Your little acts of kindness will do wonders for so many others, and the joy it brings to see them smile is indescribable. :)

Step 6: Meditate. Having some “me” time alone is vital to keep you going. Put on Jim Brickman and sit yourself down. Block out everything and relax your mind. Do it daily for about 20 minutes and you’ll find yourself more able to deal with life’s craziness. :)

Step 7: Don’t forget your friends. It’s easy to simply say “I’m too busy to meet up.” Do it often enough and you’ll lose them one by one by the time you do make time to see them. The last thing you want is to grow old alone. Family is important, but so are friends. :)

Step 8: Smile more. When the promoter helps you find your favourite shade of eye shadow, smile at her and say “Thank you”. If she’s had a bad day, you’d be the one who made all the difference. It doesn’t cost much, yet leaves a huge impact on the ones around you. :)

Step 9: Stay true to yourself. Don’t compromise your beliefs and core values just because it doesn’t seem to fit the situation. All your friends drink but you don’t because you know it’s hazardous to health. Now you’re thinking of starting just so you can fit in and look cool? In the end you’re the one who is going to bed with that bad taste in your mouth and an even worse feeling in your gut – because you realize that you’ve forgotten who you are in the whirlwind of events around you. :)

Step 10: Be courteous. Respect can never be bought – it’s always earned. For one to respect you, you must first treat one with respect. Never forget to say“Thank you”, “Please” and “I’m sorry”, and you’ll go far in life. Being successful doesn’t mean that you’ve got all the money and power in the world. It’s about how you’ve lived your life with no regrets. :)

~Ashley Greig~

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