social stigma of premarital sex

I am prompted to write this today because a friend of mine has been involved in it. This is not a topic that I am well aquainted with, but I am writing this because I would like to get different opinions or point of view (if there's any).


When I was younger, sometime during my secondary school years, I would think of people who had premarital sex as immoral people. This is because I believe that all civilised people would be able to control their lust. Furthermore, our young minds are constantly being drilled with the 'fact' that all those who had sex before marriage are from broken families, or those who are terrible in their studies. I thought maybe this is true because those are the people who are most desperate for love and attention.

But, the most recent case that I came accross has totally changed my mind. This particular friend of mine is a very bright student, and if I'm not mistaken, she's among the top student. How would you explain the fact that such an intelligent person could be involved in such immoral activities? It's a little mind-boggling at first, but as I continue thinking about it, I realise that no matter what, we as human beings would still have some survival instincts which is a little difficult to control. I won't consider it impossible to control, but still...you know...difficult.

My focus here is not on the person who is involved in such things, but in the social stigma that these people faced. Since most of us are being educated to understand that this type of acts are considered immoral, we would usually look at these people as 'bad' people.

Now the worse part is that when these girls are being ditched by their partners, they would have an extremely difficult time to continue their lives. On many occassions, these people would be unable to face the world because they think that nobody cares for them anymore. This would cause them to be suicidal. Worse still, they usually do not know where they can get support from. They can't talk to their parents about it for fear of being labeled 'cheap'. As for their friends, they themselves wouldn't know what is the right thing to do either. In other words, it's just back to square one.

I really do not know how to continue writing anymore. If anyone out there has some ideas of how to help my friend out of this, please leave your comment. I really appreciate it.

Honesty, the Best Policy??

I've always hold on to this saying that honesty is the best policy. But recent happenings has caused me to reconsider whether this saying is still applicable in our modern society. Nowadays, it's more like dishonesty is the best policy. Why do I say this? Well, I've been unable to get any scholarship although I'm considered not as well to do as most of the scholars I know. Apparently, this is because they know how to lie about the background of their family, while I, on the other hand, will just go and tell the interviewers exactly what car my parents owned, what kind of house I am living in...etc. Maybe I'm just what people call plain dumb, but I just can't seem to lie with a straight face like other people.

Another thing is, why can't Malaysian companies give scholarships according to a person's ability, instead of the person's background?? What is so hard about that?? I mean, if a foreign foundation can just give a person scholarship without asking a single question about the person's financial situation, why can't a local foundation do the same?

This background criteria has caused many people to lie about their family's financial situation so that they can get a scholarship. This also means that a lot of cheating filthy rich people get the scholarships that they applied for, whereas the middle class ones who refuse to lie would never have a chance to get the scholarship. How fair is that?

So, honesty, the best policy? I doubt it.