A close aide of the king had the habit of looking at every situation, good or bad, and commenting, "All for the good". This habit landed him in trouble one day when on a hunting trip, due to a faultily loaded gun, the king's finger was blown off. The aide remarked, "All for the good". The king was furious at such insensitiveness and had him imprisoned.
A few months later, while on a hunt, the king was captured by some cannibals, who had the custom of sacrificing human to their deity. As they were preparing to sacrifice the king, they noticed the king's missing finger and being too superstitious to sacrifice a less than perfect specimen to their deity, set him free.
The king realised the truth behind the comment and summoned his aide. He narrated his near brush with death and apologised for his hasty decision. True to form, the aide remarked, "All for the good." The king was surprised, but the aide explained, "Had your majesty not imprisoned me, I would have surely accompanied you on the hunt and the cannibals would have had no problem sacrificing a 'perfect' specimen like me to their deity."
The king, amused by his aide's attitude, rewarded him and made him his chief advisor.
Do you see life filled with independent events or a series of events, in turn connected with a bigger purpose?
When will you start seeing life as a whole?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Friday, August 23, 2013
Cod Liver Oil for the Dog
A man began to give large doses of cod liver oil to his pet dog because he had been told that it was good for dogs. Each day he would hold the protesting dog between his knees, force its jaws open and pour the oil down its throat.
One day the dog broke away and spilt the oil on the floor. Then to the man's great surprise, it not only lapped up the oil that was spilt on the floor but came back to lick the spoon.
That was when the man discovered that, what the dog had been fighting was not the oil but the manner in which is was being given.
What is more important...'giving' or 'giving your way'?
How can you become sensitive to others' way of receiving?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
One day the dog broke away and spilt the oil on the floor. Then to the man's great surprise, it not only lapped up the oil that was spilt on the floor but came back to lick the spoon.
That was when the man discovered that, what the dog had been fighting was not the oil but the manner in which is was being given.
What is more important...'giving' or 'giving your way'?
How can you become sensitive to others' way of receiving?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Change...
The Sufi Bayazid says this about himself:
I was a revolutionary when I was young and my only prayer to God was...
"Lord, give me the energy to change the world."
As I approached middle age and realised that half my life was gone without my changing a single soul, I changed my prayer to...
"Lord, give me the grace to change all those who come in contact with me. Just my family and friends and I shall be content."
But now that I am old, I pray thus...
"Lord, give me the grace to change myself. If I had prayed for this right from the start I would not have wasted my life."
What motivates you to attempt changing others?
What holds you from seeing yourself as the beginning of all change you want to see in the world?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
I was a revolutionary when I was young and my only prayer to God was...
"Lord, give me the energy to change the world."
As I approached middle age and realised that half my life was gone without my changing a single soul, I changed my prayer to...
"Lord, give me the grace to change all those who come in contact with me. Just my family and friends and I shall be content."
But now that I am old, I pray thus...
"Lord, give me the grace to change myself. If I had prayed for this right from the start I would not have wasted my life."
What motivates you to attempt changing others?
What holds you from seeing yourself as the beginning of all change you want to see in the world?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Present Moment
Once the clock master, while fixing a clock, heard the pendulum plead, "Please sir, leave me alone. Think of the number of times I will have to tick day and night, sixty times each minute, sixty minutes an hour, twenty four hours a day, three sixty five days a year, for year upon year... I could never do it."
But the master replied wisely, "Don't think of the future. Just do one tick at a time and you will enjoy every tick for the rest of your life." And the pendulum decided to follow the master's words and is still ticking away merrily.
As you are pulled by the past and the future, how much of the present do you miss out?
What does it take to be in the present?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
But the master replied wisely, "Don't think of the future. Just do one tick at a time and you will enjoy every tick for the rest of your life." And the pendulum decided to follow the master's words and is still ticking away merrily.
As you are pulled by the past and the future, how much of the present do you miss out?
What does it take to be in the present?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
I Stopped Long Ago...
A woman was at her singing lessons. She had such a jarring voice that her neighbour could take it no more. He managed to finally summon up the courage to knock at her door and say, "Madam, if you don't stop your singing, I think I'll go mad!"
"What are you talking about?" said the woman. "I stopped two hours ago!"
Do you respond to people or the image you hold of them?
Why do you imprison people in your mind?
What preoccupations of yours prevent you from seeing life as it is?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
"What are you talking about?" said the woman. "I stopped two hours ago!"
Do you respond to people or the image you hold of them?
Why do you imprison people in your mind?
What preoccupations of yours prevent you from seeing life as it is?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
Who Am I?
The Wemmicks were small wooden people, carved by a woodworker named Eli. Every Wemmick looked different. But they did the same thing all day. They gave each other stickers. The talented and pretty ones always got stars. But the Wemmicks with rough surfaces and chipped paint got dots, which meant they were no good.
Punchinello always got dots even though he tried hard to earn stars. Soon he started believing he was a no-good Wemmick. One day he met a Wemmick called Lulia with no dots or stars. It wasn't that other Wemmicks didn't try to give her stickers; it was just that the stickers did not stick on her. Punchinello was curious to know how this was possible and Lulia asked him to meet Eli.
Punchinello felt very happy in Eli's company. "Don't worry about your dots," Eli said. "After all, they are given by fellow Wemmicks. But you are special to me because I made you."
"But why don't stickers stick on Lulia," he asked. "Because the stickers only stick if you let them!" Punchinello thought "I think Eli really means it." And at that moment a dot fell to the ground. Soon he had no stickers sticking to him and he felt good deep within.
How much do you get carried away by what others think of you?
What holds you from accepting yourself as you are deep within?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
Punchinello always got dots even though he tried hard to earn stars. Soon he started believing he was a no-good Wemmick. One day he met a Wemmick called Lulia with no dots or stars. It wasn't that other Wemmicks didn't try to give her stickers; it was just that the stickers did not stick on her. Punchinello was curious to know how this was possible and Lulia asked him to meet Eli.
Punchinello felt very happy in Eli's company. "Don't worry about your dots," Eli said. "After all, they are given by fellow Wemmicks. But you are special to me because I made you."
"But why don't stickers stick on Lulia," he asked. "Because the stickers only stick if you let them!" Punchinello thought "I think Eli really means it." And at that moment a dot fell to the ground. Soon he had no stickers sticking to him and he felt good deep within.
How much do you get carried away by what others think of you?
What holds you from accepting yourself as you are deep within?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
The Filthy Neighbour
A: You should see how dirty my neighbour is, and her house! Even her children are always dirty! It is almost a disgrace to be living in the same neighbourhood. Take a look at the clothes she has hung outside on the line!
B: (Looks out of A's dirty windows) I think, the clothes are quite clean... The streaks are on your window!
How often do you clean your glasses before you see others?
How objective are the glasses you wear?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
B: (Looks out of A's dirty windows) I think, the clothes are quite clean... The streaks are on your window!
How often do you clean your glasses before you see others?
How objective are the glasses you wear?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
The Cracked Pot
A water bearer carried two pots, slung from the ends of a pole. One was a whole pot and the other had a crack.
The whole pot was proud of its perfection and the other, ashamed of its deformity. One day, the cracked pot pleaded, "Master, why do you continue to use me when I can deliver only half my load?"
Understanding the pot's dilemma, the water bearer said, "Look on the sides of the path we take everyday." The pot did and was pleasantly surprised to see a bed of vibrant flowers on its side, whereas the other side was dry and barren! "You may not be delivering your full load, but you are the reason for these lovely flowers, which I take to my master for his daily prayers!" concluded the wise man.
Do you realise that it is not about how perfect or imperfect you are, but what you are creating with your contributions that make the real difference?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
The whole pot was proud of its perfection and the other, ashamed of its deformity. One day, the cracked pot pleaded, "Master, why do you continue to use me when I can deliver only half my load?"
Understanding the pot's dilemma, the water bearer said, "Look on the sides of the path we take everyday." The pot did and was pleasantly surprised to see a bed of vibrant flowers on its side, whereas the other side was dry and barren! "You may not be delivering your full load, but you are the reason for these lovely flowers, which I take to my master for his daily prayers!" concluded the wise man.
Do you realise that it is not about how perfect or imperfect you are, but what you are creating with your contributions that make the real difference?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
How Full Is Your Cup?
A Zen master received a university professor who came to enquire about Zen.
The master served tea, filling his visitor's cup to the brim, and continued pouring.
The professor watched him until he could no longer restrain himself. "It is full. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," the master said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"
Do you walk into a situation to show what you already know or to understand about the situation?
How open are you to life?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
The master served tea, filling his visitor's cup to the brim, and continued pouring.
The professor watched him until he could no longer restrain himself. "It is full. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," the master said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"
Do you walk into a situation to show what you already know or to understand about the situation?
How open are you to life?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Growing
A museum, well-known for its marble sculptures, attracted large admiring crowds. A brilliantly sculpted statue of a lady was one of the masterpieces that adorned the resplendent hall.
One night, the marble tile, on which the lady stood, complained, "It is not fair! We both originated from the same cave and yet people walk over me and admire you for hours. Why am I a stepping stone and you a masterpiece?"
The marble lady replied calmly, "Remember the day the sculptor tried to work on you with his chisel and the fuss you created, discouraging him to work any further? But when he chose me instead, I allowed him to complete what he had started. It was painful no doubt, but even you would agree that the end result was worth it!"
From then on the marble tile took pride in being a stepping stone and never complained again.
How strong is your resistance to life's effort in shaping you?
Do you allow life to sculpt you to become what you are actually capable of being?
If not, why not?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
One night, the marble tile, on which the lady stood, complained, "It is not fair! We both originated from the same cave and yet people walk over me and admire you for hours. Why am I a stepping stone and you a masterpiece?"
The marble lady replied calmly, "Remember the day the sculptor tried to work on you with his chisel and the fuss you created, discouraging him to work any further? But when he chose me instead, I allowed him to complete what he had started. It was painful no doubt, but even you would agree that the end result was worth it!"
From then on the marble tile took pride in being a stepping stone and never complained again.
How strong is your resistance to life's effort in shaping you?
Do you allow life to sculpt you to become what you are actually capable of being?
If not, why not?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Build Wisely
There lived an elderly carpenter. One day he thought to himself, "It is time I retired and enjoyed a life of leisure."
When the employer learnt of his wish to retire, he was indeed sorry to let go of one of his best workers. However, he said, "Build just one last house for me, this will entirely be your baby. Consider it a personal favour!"
The carpenter reluctantly agreed. But it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work.
He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior material, thereby saving some money for himself.
When the house was ready, the employer came to inspect it...
The very next day, a grand farewell was arranged in the new house and handing over the door key to the carpenter, the employer proudly declared, "This is your home! A token of appreciation for your dedicated service."
The carpenter was shocked!
What a shame! Had he only known he was building his own house!
Do you have multiple standards...One for yourself and another for others?
What stops you from giving your best to everything you do?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
When the employer learnt of his wish to retire, he was indeed sorry to let go of one of his best workers. However, he said, "Build just one last house for me, this will entirely be your baby. Consider it a personal favour!"
The carpenter reluctantly agreed. But it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work.
He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior material, thereby saving some money for himself.
When the house was ready, the employer came to inspect it...
The very next day, a grand farewell was arranged in the new house and handing over the door key to the carpenter, the employer proudly declared, "This is your home! A token of appreciation for your dedicated service."
The carpenter was shocked!
What a shame! Had he only known he was building his own house!
Do you have multiple standards...One for yourself and another for others?
What stops you from giving your best to everything you do?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Destiny in a Tossed Coin
The Japanese General Nabunaga decided to attack even though he had only one soldier to the enemy's ten. He was sure he would win but his soldiers were full of fear.
On the way to the battlefield they stopped at a Shinto shrine. Nabunaga said to his army, "I shall now toss a coin. If it is heads, we shall win. If tails, we lose. Destiny will now reveal itself." He tossed the coin. It was heads.
The soldiers were so keyed up for the fight that they wiped out the enemy. Next day an aide said to Nabunaga, "No one can change destiny."
"Right," replied the General, showing him a coin that had heads on both sides.
How much do you believe in yourself?
Who decides your destiny?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
On the way to the battlefield they stopped at a Shinto shrine. Nabunaga said to his army, "I shall now toss a coin. If it is heads, we shall win. If tails, we lose. Destiny will now reveal itself." He tossed the coin. It was heads.
The soldiers were so keyed up for the fight that they wiped out the enemy. Next day an aide said to Nabunaga, "No one can change destiny."
"Right," replied the General, showing him a coin that had heads on both sides.
How much do you believe in yourself?
Who decides your destiny?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Quotes 2
Sanity: Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.
Cluelessness: There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.
Procrastination: Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
Why does God create gaps in between our fingers?
So that someone else can fill them in.
"Be yourself. Everyone else is taken."
~Oscar Wilde
For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth there is an ear to hear it.
And for every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
~Oscar Wilde
If you love someone, you say it. You say it, right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment just passes you by.
Never lie, steal, cheat or drink.
If you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love.
If you must steal, steal away from bad company.
If you must cheat, cheat death.
And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.
Your failures do not define you.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you might be the world.
If you sometimes feel a little useless, offended or depressed... Always remember that YOU were once the fastest and most victorious little sperm out of millions.
Basic principles: "Any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet - he just needs the right broom."
We stopped checking for monsters under our bed when we realised they were inside of us.
How terrible it is to love something that death can touch.
"Growing old is unavoidable, but never growing up is possible. I believe you can retain certain things from your childhood if you protect them - certain traits, certain places where you don't let the world go."
~Johnny Depp
The average person tells 4 lies a day or 1460 a year; a total of 87,600 by the age of 60. And the most common lie is: I'm Fine.
Love is feeling the need to bring that person's name up in every single conversation.
All we really want is love's confusing joy.
The road to happiness ain't that complicated.
I'm goofy, I'm clumsy, I burp, I sneeze, I snort and I fart. Love me for me. I am who I am.
Thank you for being there for me even when I'm being a pain in the ass.
Some words are best left unspoken.
Never take me for granted, for the next time you turn around...I might not be there anymore...
It's funny how when you're dead, only then people start to listen.
One good thing about music - when it hits you, you feel no pain.
~Bob Marley
"I told you I'm a wreck."
Reply: I love you regardless.
If I could tell my 19-year-old self one thing, it would be "don't give up bitch, you've got a long way to go."
When everything is telling you to give up, Hope whispers "One more time".
Don't make decisions when you're angry.
Don't make promises when you're happy.
Don't make promises you can't keep. 'Cause it bloody hurts when you don't.
"In the face of true love, you don't give up even if the object of your affection is begging you to."
~Chuck Bass
Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you're not".
"The word LISTEN contains the same letters as the word SILENT."
~Alfred Brendel
If you tickle me, I'm not responsible for your injuries.
Move on. He's just a chapter in the past. Don't close the book, just turn the page.
People are people. They will hurt you, they will bitch but they will also care about you and love you. So go out and learn for yourself, I assure you. You will never understand this world and its people. Instead, you'll become one of them.
Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
I wish people would listen as much as they talk.
Cluelessness: There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.
Procrastination: Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
Why does God create gaps in between our fingers?
So that someone else can fill them in.
"Be yourself. Everyone else is taken."
~Oscar Wilde
For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth there is an ear to hear it.
And for every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
~Oscar Wilde
If you love someone, you say it. You say it, right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment just passes you by.
Never lie, steal, cheat or drink.
If you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love.
If you must steal, steal away from bad company.
If you must cheat, cheat death.
And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.
Your failures do not define you.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you might be the world.
If you sometimes feel a little useless, offended or depressed... Always remember that YOU were once the fastest and most victorious little sperm out of millions.
Basic principles: "Any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet - he just needs the right broom."
We stopped checking for monsters under our bed when we realised they were inside of us.
How terrible it is to love something that death can touch.
"Growing old is unavoidable, but never growing up is possible. I believe you can retain certain things from your childhood if you protect them - certain traits, certain places where you don't let the world go."
~Johnny Depp
The average person tells 4 lies a day or 1460 a year; a total of 87,600 by the age of 60. And the most common lie is: I'm Fine.
Love is feeling the need to bring that person's name up in every single conversation.
All we really want is love's confusing joy.
The road to happiness ain't that complicated.
I'm goofy, I'm clumsy, I burp, I sneeze, I snort and I fart. Love me for me. I am who I am.
Thank you for being there for me even when I'm being a pain in the ass.
Some words are best left unspoken.
Never take me for granted, for the next time you turn around...I might not be there anymore...
It's funny how when you're dead, only then people start to listen.
One good thing about music - when it hits you, you feel no pain.
~Bob Marley
"I told you I'm a wreck."
Reply: I love you regardless.
If I could tell my 19-year-old self one thing, it would be "don't give up bitch, you've got a long way to go."
When everything is telling you to give up, Hope whispers "One more time".
Don't make decisions when you're angry.
Don't make promises when you're happy.
Don't make promises you can't keep. 'Cause it bloody hurts when you don't.
"In the face of true love, you don't give up even if the object of your affection is begging you to."
~Chuck Bass
Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you're not".
"The word LISTEN contains the same letters as the word SILENT."
~Alfred Brendel
If you tickle me, I'm not responsible for your injuries.
Move on. He's just a chapter in the past. Don't close the book, just turn the page.
People are people. They will hurt you, they will bitch but they will also care about you and love you. So go out and learn for yourself, I assure you. You will never understand this world and its people. Instead, you'll become one of them.
Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
I wish people would listen as much as they talk.
The Miracle Stone
A man once read in an ancient book about a black stone on the shores of the Black Sea, which could on contact, turn any metal into gold. The stone would be warm to the touch. So he went to the Black Sea and there, found a heap of black stones. He was convinced one of these would be the miracle stone.
He picked up a stone, felt it on his cheek, found it cold, and flung it into the sea. The second stone too was cold and followed the first one into the sea. He did this from morning to evening, every day for weeks, months and then years. Three years passed.
One day he put a stone to his cheek, threw it into the sea and then realized that was the stone he was looking for!
How easily do you get used to what you are doing?
What holds you from not getting conditioned?
How many opportunities do you miss because of your own conditioning?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
He picked up a stone, felt it on his cheek, found it cold, and flung it into the sea. The second stone too was cold and followed the first one into the sea. He did this from morning to evening, every day for weeks, months and then years. Three years passed.
One day he put a stone to his cheek, threw it into the sea and then realized that was the stone he was looking for!
How easily do you get used to what you are doing?
What holds you from not getting conditioned?
How many opportunities do you miss because of your own conditioning?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Eat Your Own Fruit
Some disciples once complained to their guru, "You tell us stories, but you never reveal their meaning to us."
The guru replied, "How would you like it if someone offered you a fruit and chewed it before giving it to you?"
How do you learn to draw your own interpretations of life than live by others' interpretations?
What holds you from thinking beyond what has been thought?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
The guru replied, "How would you like it if someone offered you a fruit and chewed it before giving it to you?"
How do you learn to draw your own interpretations of life than live by others' interpretations?
What holds you from thinking beyond what has been thought?
~Taken from "How full is your cup?: 64 stories that can transform the way you look at life" by J M Sampath~
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Rip Now While You Can Still Enjoy it
WORDS OF WISDOM from Ajahn Brahmavamso on his 60th Birthday
By Ajahn Brahmavamso
That is my first important point. Don't think peace of mind only comes when you have fixed up all your problems and finishes all your business. All your worrying, all your striving and struggling, has it ever gotten you where you really wanted to be? You can't control the world and change it the way you would like it. Therefore, you can only find peace of mind and achieve the meaning of like by embracing the imperfections of life. How do you do that? By knowing that imperfection is the nature of the world. So make peace with imperfection. Another thing you can't change is the past. Yet lingering on the past, people worry and feel guilty and angry about it. But since you can't change it, the only wise thing to do is to make peace with it. But how do you do that when there is so much unfinished business? You make it finished.
One of my favourite stories is about the abbot who was building the main hall for his monastery. It takes a lot of time and effort to make such a big building, and the construction work was still in progress when the time came for the annual rains retreat. The abbot told the builders to go home and come back in 3 months. A few days later, a visitor came to the temple and asked when the hall was going to be finished. The abbot replied, "It is finished". The visitor was quite stunned and said, "What do you mean it is finished? There is no roof! Are you going to leave it like that? There is no glass in the windows, there are pieces of wood and cement bags all over the floor". To which the abbot unforgettably replied, "What is done is finished."
What a beautiful response that was. It is the only way to find peace in life. If you want all your building work to be finished before you stop to find peace, all your jobs out of the way, all your letters and emails replied to, you will never find peace of mind because there is always more to be done. As I have often said the only place in our modern societies where you find people resting in peace is in the cemeteries, but then it is too late to enjoy it. So I say RIP now while you can still enjoy it. I am making the observation that you only find peace when you realise that what's done is finished. The past is gone; let it go. One of the signs of true spirituality of whatever tradition is forgiveness and letting go. I was once asked how many times you should forgive, and I replied, "Always one more time". That is, forever.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful acts that humans are capable of. In South Africa, just after apartheid had been dismantled and Nelson Mandela had been made president, instead of seeking revenge, instead of punishing all those people who punished him, Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu established a Truth and Reconciliation Commission. Anybody who had done a crime was able to go to this commission and confess what they had done. As long as they were truthful, no matter how horrendous were their crimes they would be given amnesty and forgiveness. It was a brilliant way of dealing with the past.
One of the moving events of the commission was a policeman recounting, in the presence of the man's widow, how he had tortured and killed her husband, a black African activist from the ANC. Can you imagine this scene? There was a woman whose husband had disappeared, probably in the middle of the night, and she suspected what had happened, but didn't know the true story. Now she was facing a man who was confessing in detail how he had tortured and killed her husband, the father of her children, the man she loved. Apparently, this white police officer was shaking and trembling as he recounted the details of what had happened. At the end of his testimony, the widow rose from her seat and went towards him. The guards were supposed to stop her but they froze. She went up to him, put her big black arms around him and said "I forgive you."
Not just the two of them wept, but apparently the whole room.
This sort of beautiful act is one of true spirituality. Both the victim and the perpetrator would move on and become better people. They would learn real compassion, gain real wisdom, and find a real way of moving forward. Now it that woman could forgive the murderer of the man she loved, then each one of us if we really put our minds to it is capable of forgiving anything.
I was once counselling a woman who was dying of cancer. I asked her what was the worst thing she had ever done - an act she might carry to her grace and feel terrible about. She told me she had kissed a man who was not her husband. I said, "If that's the worst thing you've done, you lived a pretty good life." When she saw my reaction, she realised for the first time that it wasn't all that bad. To me it seemed like a small thing, but she had been eaten up inside. It was such a release for her to tell someone.
When you keep small things to yourself, even the smallest things can become huge. When you acknowledge them, especially if you tell a good friend, you can see that they're no big deal and you can let them go. The way to forgiveness is to realise that you're worth forgiving and so is the other person. That realisation is step number one.
That black woman in South Africa saw something in that policeman who had killed her husband, something she could respect, something worth saving, so she forgave. Remember there's no such thing as a murderer, only a person who has taken a life; no such thing as a cheat or a thief, only a person who has stolen. If you understand that, you understand why forgiveness is possible: there's something more to any person than the bad acts. And that's true of each one of you. No matter what you've done, there's always something inside of you that is worthy of forgiveness.
Worrying about the future
Another thing that stops inner peace is worrying about the future. People often think they need to worry about global warming, the credit crunch, the wars, the natural disasters, AIDS, and the cancers. But it's only worthwhile thinking about things you can do something about. If you can't do anything, why worry? In addition, you can't predict the future. It's totally uncertain.
On one occasion, when I was just a school kid, my mother told me I was going to the dentist the following morning. I told my mum, "Mummy, don't send me to the dentist. You don't love me, you're sending me to the torturer." But try as I might, I couldn't get off it. When I went to bed that night, I was worried and didn't sleep well.
The following morning my mother had to drag me to the dentist, and I was screaming and crying. But when I eventually got to the surgery, my appointment had been cancelled. All that worry, all that crying for no reason. That was a very important experience for me. I learnt there's no point worrying about the future when you don't know what's going to happen. Life is completely unpredictable. When you understand that, you can have peace of mind in the present moment.
You can have peace of mind even when you're dying. Why not? No more worries about taxes, global warming or anything else. Because you're soon about to depart, the problem of the world become irrelevant. When there are no problems, you become peaceful. And because you never know how much time you've got left you might as well be peaceful now. This was Ajahn Chah's great teaching to me when I was sick in hospital. He came to visit me and gave me the sort of teaching you remember for the rest of your life. He told me, "Brahmavamso, you're either going to get better or you're going to die." That really hurt at first because it wasn't what I had expected. It wasn't the usual bedside manner of your best friend. But when I started to think about it, I realised that it meant the sickness wasn't going to last. That was such a relief. Sometimes you meet people who have understood this. The are dying and supposedly in agony, but they still tell jokes. They're happy and peaceful.
You much also make peace with whatever you have to do in life, with your duties and responsibilities. Peace of mind is not achieved by always trying to do what you like. On the contrary, you find peace of mind by making peace with whatever you are called to do.
Whatever your role, whatever your duties, you can always have fun, enjoy it, put happiness into it and make peace with it. You can make peace and have fun with anything, anywhere. Peace of mind is not found by searching for a deep cave, in a perfect monastery, in a wonderful place high in the a Himalayan Mountains. If you're looking for peace that way, you are looking for what Ajahn Chah called a tortoise with a moustache. People looking for the impossible and of course they can't find it. There is no such thing as a tortoise with a moustache.
You find real peace of mind by accepting your life as you have it now, even in the midst of great tragedy. What a wonderful thing that is.
How do you find this peace? Let go of all the past and guilt, by forgiving, don't worry about the future, and learn to appreciate the moment. Do your duty and put the fun into whatever you have to do.
Peace of mind is as free as the air: Drink it, enjoy it, and take it with you. It's always there if you only look in the right place.
By Ajahn Brahmavamso
"Peace of mind is as free as the air: Drink it, enjoy it, and take it with you. It's always there if you only look in the right place."Achieving peace of mind is a lovely way of describing the meaning of life. It is something that everyone aspires to. However, peace of mind is often life the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, it tends to be elusive for most people. I would like you to reflect on the times when you were the happiest. You would probably find that your happiest times were when you experienced a deep sense of contentment of peace of mind. But when you reflect on these experiences, you realise they didn't occur because everything around you was perfect. On the contrary, you realized that peace of mind occurred in spite of your surroundings not being perfect; in spite of difficulties, problems and imperfections of life.
That is my first important point. Don't think peace of mind only comes when you have fixed up all your problems and finishes all your business. All your worrying, all your striving and struggling, has it ever gotten you where you really wanted to be? You can't control the world and change it the way you would like it. Therefore, you can only find peace of mind and achieve the meaning of like by embracing the imperfections of life. How do you do that? By knowing that imperfection is the nature of the world. So make peace with imperfection. Another thing you can't change is the past. Yet lingering on the past, people worry and feel guilty and angry about it. But since you can't change it, the only wise thing to do is to make peace with it. But how do you do that when there is so much unfinished business? You make it finished.
One of my favourite stories is about the abbot who was building the main hall for his monastery. It takes a lot of time and effort to make such a big building, and the construction work was still in progress when the time came for the annual rains retreat. The abbot told the builders to go home and come back in 3 months. A few days later, a visitor came to the temple and asked when the hall was going to be finished. The abbot replied, "It is finished". The visitor was quite stunned and said, "What do you mean it is finished? There is no roof! Are you going to leave it like that? There is no glass in the windows, there are pieces of wood and cement bags all over the floor". To which the abbot unforgettably replied, "What is done is finished."
What a beautiful response that was. It is the only way to find peace in life. If you want all your building work to be finished before you stop to find peace, all your jobs out of the way, all your letters and emails replied to, you will never find peace of mind because there is always more to be done. As I have often said the only place in our modern societies where you find people resting in peace is in the cemeteries, but then it is too late to enjoy it. So I say RIP now while you can still enjoy it. I am making the observation that you only find peace when you realise that what's done is finished. The past is gone; let it go. One of the signs of true spirituality of whatever tradition is forgiveness and letting go. I was once asked how many times you should forgive, and I replied, "Always one more time". That is, forever.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful acts that humans are capable of. In South Africa, just after apartheid had been dismantled and Nelson Mandela had been made president, instead of seeking revenge, instead of punishing all those people who punished him, Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu established a Truth and Reconciliation Commission. Anybody who had done a crime was able to go to this commission and confess what they had done. As long as they were truthful, no matter how horrendous were their crimes they would be given amnesty and forgiveness. It was a brilliant way of dealing with the past.
One of the moving events of the commission was a policeman recounting, in the presence of the man's widow, how he had tortured and killed her husband, a black African activist from the ANC. Can you imagine this scene? There was a woman whose husband had disappeared, probably in the middle of the night, and she suspected what had happened, but didn't know the true story. Now she was facing a man who was confessing in detail how he had tortured and killed her husband, the father of her children, the man she loved. Apparently, this white police officer was shaking and trembling as he recounted the details of what had happened. At the end of his testimony, the widow rose from her seat and went towards him. The guards were supposed to stop her but they froze. She went up to him, put her big black arms around him and said "I forgive you."
Not just the two of them wept, but apparently the whole room.
This sort of beautiful act is one of true spirituality. Both the victim and the perpetrator would move on and become better people. They would learn real compassion, gain real wisdom, and find a real way of moving forward. Now it that woman could forgive the murderer of the man she loved, then each one of us if we really put our minds to it is capable of forgiving anything.
I was once counselling a woman who was dying of cancer. I asked her what was the worst thing she had ever done - an act she might carry to her grace and feel terrible about. She told me she had kissed a man who was not her husband. I said, "If that's the worst thing you've done, you lived a pretty good life." When she saw my reaction, she realised for the first time that it wasn't all that bad. To me it seemed like a small thing, but she had been eaten up inside. It was such a release for her to tell someone.
When you keep small things to yourself, even the smallest things can become huge. When you acknowledge them, especially if you tell a good friend, you can see that they're no big deal and you can let them go. The way to forgiveness is to realise that you're worth forgiving and so is the other person. That realisation is step number one.
That black woman in South Africa saw something in that policeman who had killed her husband, something she could respect, something worth saving, so she forgave. Remember there's no such thing as a murderer, only a person who has taken a life; no such thing as a cheat or a thief, only a person who has stolen. If you understand that, you understand why forgiveness is possible: there's something more to any person than the bad acts. And that's true of each one of you. No matter what you've done, there's always something inside of you that is worthy of forgiveness.
Worrying about the future
Another thing that stops inner peace is worrying about the future. People often think they need to worry about global warming, the credit crunch, the wars, the natural disasters, AIDS, and the cancers. But it's only worthwhile thinking about things you can do something about. If you can't do anything, why worry? In addition, you can't predict the future. It's totally uncertain.
On one occasion, when I was just a school kid, my mother told me I was going to the dentist the following morning. I told my mum, "Mummy, don't send me to the dentist. You don't love me, you're sending me to the torturer." But try as I might, I couldn't get off it. When I went to bed that night, I was worried and didn't sleep well.
The following morning my mother had to drag me to the dentist, and I was screaming and crying. But when I eventually got to the surgery, my appointment had been cancelled. All that worry, all that crying for no reason. That was a very important experience for me. I learnt there's no point worrying about the future when you don't know what's going to happen. Life is completely unpredictable. When you understand that, you can have peace of mind in the present moment.
You can have peace of mind even when you're dying. Why not? No more worries about taxes, global warming or anything else. Because you're soon about to depart, the problem of the world become irrelevant. When there are no problems, you become peaceful. And because you never know how much time you've got left you might as well be peaceful now. This was Ajahn Chah's great teaching to me when I was sick in hospital. He came to visit me and gave me the sort of teaching you remember for the rest of your life. He told me, "Brahmavamso, you're either going to get better or you're going to die." That really hurt at first because it wasn't what I had expected. It wasn't the usual bedside manner of your best friend. But when I started to think about it, I realised that it meant the sickness wasn't going to last. That was such a relief. Sometimes you meet people who have understood this. The are dying and supposedly in agony, but they still tell jokes. They're happy and peaceful.
You much also make peace with whatever you have to do in life, with your duties and responsibilities. Peace of mind is not achieved by always trying to do what you like. On the contrary, you find peace of mind by making peace with whatever you are called to do.
Whatever your role, whatever your duties, you can always have fun, enjoy it, put happiness into it and make peace with it. You can make peace and have fun with anything, anywhere. Peace of mind is not found by searching for a deep cave, in a perfect monastery, in a wonderful place high in the a Himalayan Mountains. If you're looking for peace that way, you are looking for what Ajahn Chah called a tortoise with a moustache. People looking for the impossible and of course they can't find it. There is no such thing as a tortoise with a moustache.
You find real peace of mind by accepting your life as you have it now, even in the midst of great tragedy. What a wonderful thing that is.
How do you find this peace? Let go of all the past and guilt, by forgiving, don't worry about the future, and learn to appreciate the moment. Do your duty and put the fun into whatever you have to do.
Peace of mind is as free as the air: Drink it, enjoy it, and take it with you. It's always there if you only look in the right place.
"He insulted me, he cheated me, he beat me, he robbed me" --those who are free of resentful thoughts sure find peace. -Gautama Buddha
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