Saturday, July 31, 2010

Understanding Men

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Ash Greig's 10 Steps to Building Self-Confidence

Step 1: The golden rule – have a positive outlook on life!
Nobody wants to be around a negative pessimist, so have more faith in yourself and the world that you live in. :)

Step 2: Perfection is NOT the key.
The more you aim for it, the harder it is to reach; so when you fail there goes your confidence down the toilet bowl. Set goals that you can achieve and reward yourself when you succeed. If things do not turn out well, let it be and move on. Punishing yourself doesn’t make it all better. :)

Step 3: Do not be afraid to be heard.
You’ve got a mind of your own – be proud of it! Show people that you are a thinker and not a follower. :)

Step 4: Create something out of nothing.
Never baked a cake in your life? Take out Mom’s recipe book and start getting messy. When you open the oven and see your masterpiece once it’s ready, you’d be so proud of yourself for attempting the impossible. :)

Step 5: Be happy being you instead of trying so hard to be someone you’re not.
You’re special exactly the way you are, so why would you want to be different and pretend to be a person you think people would approve of? Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. :)

Step 6: Be initiative – take the first step.
So you’ve just met some new people. Talk to them, find out their hobbies and tell them about yours. Being shy doesn’t get you anywhere when you want to become a more confident adult. :)

Step 7: Thank your lucky stars for life’s little gifts.
You’ve been blessed with all that you need to live a fulfilling life – smile, be grateful and spread the love to those around you. :)

Step 8: Love every bit of yourself.
It doesn’t matter if your right boob is smaller than your left, or if you weigh 30 pounds more than you should. Accept your flaws and appreciate your best features. Life would be that much simpler to lead. :)

Step 9: Listen to uplifting, happy music.
It makes you feel good about yourself and everything around you, and does wonders to boost your confidence. :)

Step 10: Make your own decisions.
We all have to make choices of various scales throughout our lives – it is part of being human. We may make mistakes sometimes, but at least you know that you made that mistake on your own with a clear conscience and not merely looking for someone to take the blame. :)


~Ashley Greig~
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=413454363554&ref=notif

Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Lesson

I grew up in a community within which one was judged not by one's integrity or actions but by one's financial status. In my neighbourhood, every mother rushed to enrol her child in the most exclusive tuition centres regardless of the cost. In my neighbourhood, the poor were not befriended but shunned and treated as outcasts.

Naturally, I grew up believing that the sole aim in life was to obtain good grades that would, eventually, ensure a high-paying job. Fortunately, I discovered at an early age that my brain could live up to my ambitions, and by the time I was 13, I had been dubbed an Einstein and was already contemplating my chances of entering Harvard one day.

Things were not as easy for Omar, my identical twin brother. Omar and I shared the same gangly figure and tousled hair, but 13-year-old Omar had the mental age of a child 10 years younger. His condition was disheartening, and sometimes, tactless strangers would jeer at the way he behaved and spoke. Though I hated the way others treated Omar, secretly, I too thought little of him and didn't think he had anything to offer the world.

Then, one day, Omar disappeared from our home; it wasn't like him to wander off alone, and I was worried - but also irritated that I would have to take time off from the books to look for him. Adding to the irritation as I walked down the street was the rain that began pouring down.

Just as I was about to give up in disgust and go home, I heard the familiar, high-pitched laughter. Omar's laughter. As I turned around the last house on the street, I saw something that stopped me in my tracks. Omar, the brother I thought had nothing to offer the world, was helping old Mrs Ravi cross the street. Mrs Ravi was a blind woman who had been shunned by our neighbourhood after her late husband had been revealed as a criminal.

Omar was holding her hand and leading her across gently, amusing her with his childish jokes along the way. He obviously did not care that her skin was eczema-ravaged, her eyes hollow and blank, her hair untamed, her coat ragged. And she obviously did not care that Omar wasn't the sharpest brain around, it was enough that he was a friend to her.

Standing in the rain watching this scene, I wondered vaguely why the rain water tasted salty as it trickled over my lips. Then I realised that it was mixture of tears and rainwater that trailed down my cheeks. Here was a boy, pitied and looked down upon by others, teaching me one of life's important lessons: do not judge a book by its cover...

By Auro
Published in Starmag

What If He Could Change the World?

It was the school holidays, and my five-year-old cousin was spending time at my house. I wasn't terrible enthusiastic about him coming over as I was trying to write my entry fro an essay competition, I was having difficulty with the topic, which was If I could change the world. Thoughts in issues like racism, poverty, and was were swirling in my mind and I was wondering what I could do to make a difference. Heavy stuff....

So I was not pleased when my cousin came to bug me. But I had promised Mum I'd take care of him - she wanted me to "learn responsibility and discipline" before she'd consider letting me get my own car. So there I was, sitting beside my cute little cousin in the backyard. The hot weather was making me drowsy even as it sparked hazy thought on global warming. Then I was rudely shocked out of my dreams by cries of "Koko, koko" (big brother) from my cousin. "Koko, why the grass stand there, don't move one? Just now they wave to me, now they don't like me. Why?" asked my cousin, sounding upset. Before I could explain that it was the wind that had made them "wave" before, and that it was rare for a breeze to come by at this time of the day, he broke into another loud cry.

Tugging my sleeve, he quickly pulled me off the grass and onto the walkway, shouting in excitement, "I know, I know! They sad we step on them! See, see! Now they wave again!" The rare breeze had appeared and the plants and grass in my backyard started "waving" gently. A huge smile broke out on my cousin's sweaty face, and I couldn't resist smiling at the sight.

Soon, though, he was tired of playing outdoors and wanted to rest. So I suggested doing some drawing and painting in the house. But before he left the yard, he bowed and thanked all plants that were "bowing" to him too. I couldn't help but smile again.

After giving him paper and crayons, I went back to my computer and stared at the blank screen. Facts and figures and opinions about all those heavy issues swirled in my mind but I was no closer to beginning my essay. Shaking my head in disgust, I looked for distraction and turned to my cousin, finding him totally engrossed in him painting. Curious, I looked over his shoulder.

It was a fairly typical drawing for a little kid; there were trees, birds, mountains, the sun, a big house with a chimney (why do Malaysian kids persist in drawing chimneys even though we don't have them here? The influence of Westernised TV, obviously!) and three buildings with people in front of them.

The buildings, said my cousin earnestly, were "houses" he had seen while being driven over. Interestingly, these "houses" were shaped roughly like a mosque and Hindu and Chinese temples. Then I noticed that all the people in the picture had orange coloured skin. Being the older, wiser one, of course, I started to correct him, telling him that the person in front of the mosque should have brown skin, the one near the Indian temple should have darker skin than that and the person by the Chinese temple should have lighter coloured skin.

But my little cousin was having none of it.

"No, no, Koko. Teacher say all people only one colour. I see them all also one colour. They same like us. They like to smile and be happy. Why, Koko, you say they different? You wrong, Koko," my little cousin said firmly to me.

I didn't agree and tried to persuade him to change the colours but he was adamant. I tried explaining again about race and religion, but he kept on repeating "same one, same one" to me. Giving up in disgust, I returned to my seat in front of the computer and began mulling over how to write about racism.

It was in the evening before my cousin brother finished him artwork. It was really impressive by his standards, and I awarded him a kiss on his cheek for putting so much effort into it. I saw that the men in his drawing were now all holding hands, which was not what he had drawn at first, so I asked him about the change.

"Koko made me change. I told you they same, you don't know. So I draw them hold hands! Now they like brothers, they love each other," my cousin said sternly, looking for understanding in my face. I finally gave up and told him I believed what he said. For that, I was rewarded with a kiss on my cheek too.

It was night-time and I was still in front of my computer, trying to find inspiration. Then came my cousin brother again. He wanted to go to bed. He was very tired after a whole day of playing.

After I made a small bed for him alongside mine, he settled in but before sleeping, he said this prayer: "Dear Papa God, thank you for giving me nice day! Thank you for giving me Koko. I like him very much. I want to sleep now. I pray that other children in the world can sleep like me and be happy every day, so now I put one dollar here. I hope you give this to them. Amen."

I kissed him good night and he went to sleep.

As I sat down once more in front of that demanding computer screen to ponder those big issues again, the peaceful face of my little cousin brother sparked these thoughts:

If I could change the world, maybe I should make everyone show as much respect for each other and for all living things as my cousin brother did to the grass and plants?

If I could change the world, maybe I should teach people to treat one another without discrimination and not see different skin colours, just as my cousin brother portrayed the people in his painting?

If I could change the world, maybe I should teach people to be more generous in giving others a portion of what we have, just as my cousin brother gives up his one dollar every day?

A I looked at my cousin brother snoring in his sleep, I thought in awe, what a world it would be if he could change it.

Written by Cheah Kok Hin
Posted in Starmag

Faithful Young Flock

Kids think out of the box; adults, particularly city slickers, think off tangent. These articles, which are circulating round the Internet, show a lighter perspective of things.


Three-year-old Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is his name. Amen."

*****
A little boy was over heard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."


*****
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. Thrice, his father asked him what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied: "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."

*****
I had been teaching my three-year-old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo.

I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from e-mail."

*****
One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets, as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

*****
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service: "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied: "Because people are sleeping."

*****
Six-year-old Angie and her brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel, aged four, giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, big sister had had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?"

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

*****
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, five and Ryan, three. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"

Kevin turned to his brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

*****
A man was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

"Daddy, what happened to him?" the boy asked.

"He died and went to Heaven," the father replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

*****
A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," the daughter replied.

"Just say what you hear Mummy say."

The girl bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

Sent to Starmag by S.P. Chin

Friday, July 9, 2010

From the Mouth of a Babe

A primary schoolteacher asked her students to write an essay about what they would like God to do for them. At the end of the day, while marking the essays, one made her very emotional.

Her husband, who had just walked in, saw her crying and asked, "What happened?"

"Read this. It's by one of my students."

"Oh God, tonight I ask you for something very special: Turn me into a television set. I want to take its place. Have my own special place in the house. And have my family around ME.


"I want to be taken seriously when I talk, to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same special care that the TV gets when it is not working. Have the company of my dad when he comes home from work, even when he is tired.


"And I want my mum to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me. I want my brothers to fight to be with me... I want to feel that the family will leave everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me.


"And last, but not least, make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them. God, I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV."


At that, the man cried: "Poor kid. What horrible parents!"

The teacher looked up and said, "That essay is our son's!"

From Starmag, 30th May 2010

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Colours of Friendship

Once upon a time, the colours of the world started to quarrel. All of them claimed that they were the best. The most important. The most useful. The favourite.

Green said: "Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all the animals would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority."

Blue interrupted: "You only think about the earth. Consider the sky and the the sea. It is water, drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea, that is the basis of life. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing."

Yellow chuckled. "You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me, there would be no fun."

Orange was the next to blow her trumpet. "I am the colour of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and papayas.

"I don't hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any or you."

Red could no longer stand it so he shouted out: "I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I am the colour of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire into the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the colour of passion and love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy."

Purple rose up to his full height; he was very tall and spoke with great pomp. "I a,m the colour of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."

Finally, Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination. "Think of me. I am the colour of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me, all of you become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."

And so the colours continued to boast, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarrelling became louder and louder. Suddenly, there was a startling flash of lightning. Thunder rolled and boomed and rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colours crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort.

In the midst of the clamour, rain began to speak: "You foolish colours, fighting amongst yourselves and trying to dominate the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me."

With heads bowed, the colours reached out to each other. Rain continued: "From now on, whenever it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of colour as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow."

And so, after a good shower has washed the world and a rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another.

Sent to Starmag by Siti Faizura Saffardin