Female dictionary

Nothing, forget it = You better figure out what you did wrong

Are you tired? = Please don't go to sleep, I love talking to you

I'm OK = Hold me tight, I need a shoulder to cry on

I don't give a fuck anymore = I still care. But I'm tired of arguing with you

I'm cold = get a blanket and cuddle with me

Leave me alone = Please don't go

I love you = Tell me you do more

Lesson in Life

A wise man sat in the audience and cracked a joke. Everybody laughs like crazy. After a moment, he cracked the same joke again. This time, less people laughed. He cracked the same joke again and again. When there is no laughter in the crowd, he smiled and said: You can't laugh at the same joke again and again, but why do you keep crying over the same thing over and over again?

Quotes 1

1. I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I'd love to punch in the face.
2. How about you get to know me before you judge me. 
3. I don't regret my past, I just regret the time I wasted with the wrong people.
4. Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have internet connection.
5. The best way to make somebody remember you, borrow money from them.
6. Life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger.
7. Treat people as you would like to be treated. Karma's only a bitch if you are.
8. The greatest challenge in life it to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences and mistakes and yet still sees the best in you.
9. I'm so busy doing nothing that I can't do anything else.
10. While we try to teach our Children all about Life... Our Children teach us what Life is about.
11. In life, we do things, some we wish we had never done, some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. But they all make us who we are, and in the end, they shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn't be the person we are. So just live. Make mistakes, have wonderful memories, but never ever second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly where it is you're going.
12. A man's biggest mistake is giving another man an opportunity to make his woman smile.
13. Falling in love is like jumping off a really tall building, your brain tells you it is not a good idea, but your heart tells you, you can fly.
14. Don't trust too much, don't hope too much, and don't love too much. Because that TOO MUCH can hurt you SO MUCH.
15. I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love, and I can't let you go.
16. Love is patient, Love is kind... It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails.
17. A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
18. Good friends are like stars... You don't always see them, you know they are always there.
19. Smile... it will either warm their heart or piss them off... either way you win.
20. Don't like me? Cool, I don't wake up every day to impress you.
21. You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it.
22. There's a point in your life when you get tired of trying to fix everything and trying to make everyone happy. When you finally decide to quit, it's NOT giving up. It's realizing you don't need certain people and the bullshit they bring to your life.
23. Smile in the morning. People will wonder what you did last night.
24. Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.

Tomato Story

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.

'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,
and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US ...
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,'I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Moral of the story 
Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life.

Moral 2

If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Moral 3
If you received this message by email,
you are closer to being a office boy/girl, than a millionaire..........

Got this from my email recently