We've all had to say goodbye to someone we cared about at some point of our lives. Sometimes it takes a long time to get over it, sometimes it doesn't. It could be a family member, a friend, a significant other. Perhaps a fight had been the cause of the two of you falling apart. Perhaps it was death. It all has one thing in common: the hurt and pain that you feel inside, knowing that no amount of tears can make you feel better.
I recently had a fallout with one of my best friends. We have been besties for 6 years, ever since we met in high school. We shared secrets, and loved each other like no other. We promised to be there for each other til the day we die. We would study abroad together, be each other's bridesmaid/best man at our respective weddings, and grow old together.
However, fate had other plans for us. We had a huge fight, and it has been almost a month since I last spoke to him. I know that we will never be on talking terms again, and just thinking about it brings me to tears. How can I go on living without him by my side? Instead of sinking into depression, I realized that I had so many other people around me that love me and wouldn't want me to give up on life. That was when I decided that I will get back up on my feet and continue my journey in life. It hurts, but this is life and it comes only once. If I don't live it to the fullest, who else will?
So here it is, my 10 Steps to Moving On.
Step 1: Clear your baggage. You've got to accept the fact that he's now happier with another girl, or that she's left the world to go to a better place. It's okay to cry and be sad, but only for a short while. There's no turning back, so all that's left for you to do is continue with your journey with fond memories of him/her in your mind. :)
Step 2: Let it all out. Write in a journal, or talk to someone about what you feel. Situations are always easier to handle when you're not bottling up your emotions. :)
Step 3: Hang out with friends. Having a day out shopping or playing futsal with your buddies never fails to get you feeling good about yourself, and in turn being truly happy again. :)
Step 4: Do something for yourself. Pamper yourself at the spa or get a new haircut. It'll definitely help in boosting your self-esteem and confidence. :)
Step 5: Hit the gym! Working out is a good way to channel all that energy into doing something good for your body. Instead of sitting in front of the TV watching "Hatchiko" and bawling your eyes out with a box of popcorn, jump on the treadmill for half an hour. You'd feel much better afterwards. :)
Step 6: Give a little more focus to your work. Not only it would bring you satisfaction as you see yourself getting better by the day, it would take you one step closer to that promotion and raise that you've been eying on for some time now. :)
Step 7: Get a new hobby. Start baking, or learn how to play golf. Keep yourself occupied with something new, and you'll find yourself sinking lesser into depression because you're simply too busy to think of him/her. :)
Step 8: Take it as a lesson in life. Everything that happens every day is a learning experience for us. Perhaps losing her would get you to realize that one shouldn't be too clingy, or that his death is a reminder that one should never drink and drive. :)
Step 9: Meet new people. Get to know more colleagues from work, or ask your pals to introduce you to their friends. It'll help you to get your mind off him/her, and expand your network - in addition to helping you get connected to people of similar interests with you! :)
Step 10: Forgive. Perhaps you never had the chance to tell him that you loved him, or she broke your heart into pieces. Forgive yourself, or him/her. Playing the blaming game will never solve the problem, and doesn't help in any way if you want to move on. Come to terms with reality, and you're on your way to being okay. :)
Written by Ashley Greig
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