Definitions

CIGARETTE:

A pinch of tobacco

rolled in paper

with fire at one end

and a fool at the other!

LOVE AFFAIRS:

Something like Cricket

where One-Day Internationals

are more popular than

Five-Day Tests!

MARRIAGE:

It’s an agreement

wherein

a man loses his bachelor degree

and a woman gains her master

DIVORCE:

Future Tense

of Marriage

LECTURE:

An art of transmitting Information

from the notes of the lecturer

to the notes of students

without passing through the minds

of either

CONFERENCE:

The confusion of one man

multiplied by the

number present

COMPROMISE:

The art of dividing

a cake in such a way that

everybody believes

he got the biggest piece

TEARS:

The hydraulic force by which

masculine will power is

defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY:

A place where divorce comes

before marriage

CONFERENCE ROOM:

A place where everybody talks,

nobody listens

and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY:

A feeling when you feel

you are going to feel

a feeling

you have never felt before

CLASSIC:

A book

which people praise,

but never read

SMILE:

A curve

that can set

a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:

A place

where you can relax

after your strenuous

home life

YAWN:

The only time

when some married men

ever get to open

their mouth

ETC:

A sign

to make others believe

that you know

more than

you actually do

COMMITTEE:

Individuals

who can do

nothing individually

and sit to decide

that nothing can be done

together

EXPERIENCE:

The name

men give

to their

Mistakes

ATOM BOMB:

An invention

to bring an end

to all

inventions

PHILOSOPHER:

A fool

who torments himself

during life,

to be spoken of

when dead

DIPLOMAT:

A person

who tells you

to go to hell

in such a way

that you actually look forward

to the trip

OPPORTUNIST:

A person

who starts taking bath

if he

accidentally falls

into a river

OPTIMIST:

A person

who while falling

from EIFFEL TOWER

says in midway

“SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”

PESSIMIST:

A person

who says that

O is the last letter

in ZERO,

Instead of the first letter

in OPPORTUNITY

MISER:

A person

who lives poor

so that

he can die RICH!

FATHER:

A banker

provided by

nature

CRIMINAL:

A guy

no different

from the other,

unless he gets caught

BOSS:

Someone

who is early

when you are late

and late

when you are early

POLITICIAN:

One who

shakes your hand

before elections

and your Confidence

Later

DOCTOR:

A person

who kills

your ills

by pills,

and kills you

by his bills!